AITA for refusing to sleep on a pullout couch during a family vacation?

My family planned a big summer vacation, but after a bedroom miscount, my boyfriend and I were told we'd be sleeping in the middle of the living room on a pullout couch — and I said no.

My aunt arranged the rental house and thought there were six bedrooms. She assigned rooms for everyone: my aunt and uncle, my parents, one cousin and her husband, another cousin and his wife, and their kids. But she miscounted — there were only five bedrooms. Suddenly, I was told that my boyfriend and I would be sleeping on a pullout couch in the living room, right in the center of all the activity. The idea of having no privacy, waking up to people walking through, changing clothes only in the bathroom, and leaving all our things out in the open felt uncomfortable and stressful.

I didn’t want to sleep in the middle of the house with zero privacy. When I said I’d either skip the trip or book my own nearby room, my mom claimed I’d “ruin” the entire vacation.

My cousins and their spouses all had dedicated rooms. Even the couple with two younger kids had space. Meanwhile, the pullout couch meant being on display in the busiest part of the house. I explained that I would rather skip the trip entirely or book a nearby Airbnb just for sleeping, while still spending all day with the family and paying my full share of the main rental. To me, this wasn’t about skipping family time — it was about not having to live out of a suitcase in the living room for a week.

"I don't want to be woken up by everyone starting their day or have to change in the bathroom every single time."

My mom rejected both options and insisted I would be “ruining” the trip if I didn’t sleep under the same roof as everyone else. I tried explaining that the Airbnb would only be for sleeping and privacy — I planned to be with my family all day, every day. But she didn’t want to hear it. I haven’t yet told my cousins or anyone else that I’m considering a separate place, but I’m stuck between wanting to be included and not wanting to be the only one without any privacy.

"I said I'd still pay my share — I just want a real room to sleep in."

It feels unfair that every other adult couple gets privacy while my boyfriend and I are expected to sleep in the center of the house. I’m willing to solve the issue myself, but apparently my solution alone is the problem. Now I’m questioning whether speaking up at all was the right call or whether I should have stayed quiet and just dealt with it.

🏠 The Aftermath

Right now, the plan is unresolved. My mom is upset, insisting that staying elsewhere undermines the “togetherness” of the trip.

If I book the nearby room, I’ll still pay my share and spend the entire day with the family — I’d simply sleep elsewhere. If I don’t go at all, I worry it will cause resentment.

The core tension is that everyone else gets a real room, while my boyfriend and I are assigned the couch because of a booking mistake. My desire for privacy is seen as a threat to family unity.

"It’s hard to feel included when you’re sleeping in the living room like extra luggage."

I want to enjoy the rare full-family vacation, but not at the cost of feeling uncomfortable and exposed the whole time. My mom sees separation; I see a compromise that lets everyone enjoy the trip.

💭 Emotional Reflection

This conflict isn’t really about a couch — it’s about privacy, comfort, and fairness during a rare family gathering. Every adult couple gets a real space except me and my boyfriend, who were added as an afterthought due to a simple miscount.

I offered a solution that doesn’t burden anyone and still keeps me involved, but my mom sees it as a symbolic rejection rather than a practical one. When expectations of “togetherness” clash with basic comfort, someone ends up feeling unreasonable — even when their concerns are valid.

Reasonable people may disagree: some will say a pullout couch is part of family trips; others will argue that no adult couple should be expected to sleep in the middle of the house without any privacy for days.

Here’s how the community might see it:

“If you’re paying your share and a separate room solves the problem, that’s a perfectly fair compromise.”

“Everyone else gets privacy — it’s not wrong to want the same for yourself.”

“Your mom is personalizing a logistics issue. Sleeping nearby doesn’t ‘ruin’ anything.”

Reactions would likely focus on fairness, boundaries, and how families sometimes confuse proximity with connection.

🌱 Final Thoughts

Family trips can be wonderful, but they also expose the practical gaps between tradition and reality. Wanting a space to sleep and change without an audience isn’t selfish — it’s reasonable.

Whether I join them from a nearby Airbnb or stay under the same roof, the goal is still the same: enjoying time together without feeling like an afterthought on a pullout couch.

What do you think?
Would booking a nearby room be fair, or should I accept the couch for the sake of “togetherness”? Share your thoughts below 👇