AITA for refusing to stop wearing shorts because my cousin's girlfriend feels "uncomfortable"?

I've always worn shorts everywhere, and when my cousin's girlfriend asked me not to wear them at a family meet-up because she feels "uncomfortable," I agreed to respect her space — but I also found the request baffling and was pressured to apologise. AITA?

I’ve worn shorts my whole life — to the gym, out with friends, training, whatever — and they’re knee-length. My cousin messaged me to say his girlfriend asked that I don't wear shorts to a family gathering at her place. I told him I didn’t mind not wearing them there since it's her house, but I wanted to know why. She messaged me and said she “personally felt uncomfortable” because of how I sit sometimes and that it shows my thighs "a bit higher up." I was baffled because my shorts literally go to my knees.

I’m comfortable wearing shorts everywhere and agreed to avoid them in her house — but being told I should apologise or "be a man" for not changing my style felt wrong, so I pushed back.

I told my cousin I didn’t mind not wearing shorts in his girlfriend’s house because it’s her place. Still, I asked to understand what made her uncomfortable. She said when I sit I sometimes "accidentally" show higher up on my thighs and she ends up looking away. That felt odd to me — my shorts hit the knee — and I kept thinking she must be exaggerating or misinterpreting what she’s seen.

"She said she 'personally felt uncomfortable' when I wore shorts because of the positions I sit in."

I spoke to another cousin who told me I needed to "firm" it and apologise — that if a woman says she's uncomfortable, I should stop and say sorry. He framed it as a test of manhood, which annoyed me. I argued that this felt like an unfair double standard: women are often told their clothing is their choice, yet here I was being told to change because someone else felt awkward. I agreed I’d wear trousers at her house, but I didn’t think I should have to apologise for wearing shorts everywhere else.

"If a girl says my shorts make her uncomfortable, I should apologise and stop—right?"

I’m happy to respect her home and avoid shorts there, but I don’t feel I owe a public apology or have to change my whole style because one guest feels awkward. I’m asking if I’m overreacting for pushing back on being told to apologise and for finding the request to change my clothing everywhere unfair.

🏠 The Aftermath

You agreed not to wear shorts at the cousin's girlfriend’s house — the immediate conflict is resolved for that visit. But the conversation exposed bigger tensions: you feel pressured to apologise and change broadly for something you consider a normal choice, and some family members urged you to "man up" and comply completely.

At the meet-up you'll likely wear trousers, but now there’s an undercurrent: you feel unfairly policed about your clothing, and some relatives think you should have apologised immediately to avoid drama. Others may quietly agree with you that the request was odd.

The consequence is a small boundary: you’re willing to respect someone’s home, but you also don’t want your everyday clothing choices policed by others' discomfort or pressured into apologising for them.

"I'll not wear shorts in her house, but I'm not apologising for my style everywhere else."

You leave the meet-up intact but feel frustrated and judged — the incident may be small, but it brought up questions about respect, double standards, and personal autonomy.

💭 Emotional Reflection

This is a boundary-versus-autonomy issue. On one hand, guests often accommodate house rules out of respect; on the other, asking someone to change a long-held, non-sexualised style because it makes another person "uncomfortable" raises questions about whose comfort matters and why. Your willingness to avoid shorts in her home is reasonable; being told to apologise and permanently alter your dress feels coercive.

Context matters: if her discomfort is genuine and specific, a private, calm conversation could clarify expectations without shaming you. But being told secondhand and pressured by relatives to apologise turns a small preference into a test of character you didn't sign up for.

Reasonable people may disagree: some will say accommodating guests shows empathy; others will say personal clothing choices shouldn’t be policed because someone else feels awkward.

Here’s how the community might see it:

“You’re right to respect her house, but not to apologise or change your whole life — that’s extreme.”

“If a guest says they’re uncomfortable, an apology and a small compromise go a long way — this feels like basic courtesy.”

“Your cousin pressuring you and calling you 'not a man' for standing up is out of line — that's the bigger problem here.”

The split centers on balancing courtesy with personal boundaries. Most people will agree it's fair to avoid shorts in her home, but opinions diverge on whether a broader apology or lifestyle change is warranted.

🌱 Final Thoughts

You handled it reasonably by agreeing to respect her home while questioning the demand to apologise and change your normal behaviour everywhere. Respect and communication would have defused this — a private chat explaining exactly what bothers her, without pressure or shaming, would be healthier for everyone.

Ultimately, small compromises in someone else's home are fine, but being coerced into apologising or policing your entire wardrobe over vague discomfort is an overreach.

What do you think?
Would you apologise and adjust more broadly, or draw the line at accommodating only in her house? Share your thoughts below 👇