AITA for refusing to make my SIL’s wedding cake for free even though I’m a professional baker?

I run a full-time bakery business, not a hobby kitchen, but my SIL asked me to create her elaborate four-tier wedding cake as a “gift.” When I quoted her a discounted price, she blew up — and now the whole family is involved.

I’m 29 and have spent the last five years building my bakery from a college hobby into a real business with a workspace, consistent monthly orders, and a reputation for event cakes. Weddings, birthdays, big celebrations — this is my livelihood. My SIL, my wife’s 33-year-old sister, has always made dismissive comments about my work, acting like baking is just “playing in the kitchen,” or something anyone could learn on YouTube. I ignored it because it wasn’t constant and I didn’t want family drama. Earlier this month she asked me to make her June wedding cake: a four-tier piece with buttercream, floral piping, real cascading flowers, chocolate sponge, raspberry filling, and personal delivery on the wedding morning. After discussing everything, I gave her a heavily discounted family quote. She immediately said she thought it would be free — that the cake was her wedding gift from me.

I’m the baker SIL expected to produce a multi-tier wedding cake for free “as a gift,” despite never respecting my business — and when I stood firm, she accused me of profiting off her happiness.

I explained that wedding cakes take days of prep and hours of work — I don’t give those away because they’re labor-intensive and part of my business. I offered to buy her a registry gift instead or still make the cake at the discounted rate. She called me transactional, claimed it was “just a cake,” insisted I didn’t want to be part of her special day, and hung up on me. Since then, she’s been telling people I’m trying to profit off her happiness, ignoring the disrespect she’s shown toward my career for years.

"She said it was ‘just a cake’ and that she thought I'd be giving it as a wedding gift."

My MIL called, sounding overwhelmed and begging me to reconsider “for the sake of family peace.” She admitted my SIL was being dramatic but still pushed me to make the cake for free to keep things calm. Meanwhile, my wife is fully on my side and has told her mom to stop smoothing things over at my expense — though she also admitted she wishes I’d just said yes to avoid the fallout.

"If she wants a gift, I’ll buy something from her registry — but a four-tier wedding cake is work, not a present."

I’ve made free cakes before: small ones, for close friends going through rough patches, or people I genuinely care about. This isn’t that. My SIL and her fiancé can afford the cake — she simply never respected my work enough to think I should be paid for it. Now she’s acting like I’ve ruined her wedding out of spite.

🏠 The Aftermath

Right now, I’m not making the cake, and my SIL is furious. She’s venting to the family about how I’m “money-hungry,” ignoring the fact that wedding cakes require days of work and hundreds of dollars in ingredients and supplies.

At her house: she’s framing this like a betrayal, insisting I don’t care about her big day. At my house: my wife supports me, though she hates the drama. My MIL is stuck in the middle, torn between her daughters and begging for peace.

The consequences so far are tension, family gossip, and the possibility that my SIL will either scramble to find a new baker last-minute or expect me to cave. I’m standing my ground — this is my business, not a hobby, and I refuse to let someone diminish my work just because we’re related.

"In a family full of opinions, the only people who lose sight of the labor behind a wedding cake are the ones who think it’s ‘just dessert.’"

I’m proud of what I’ve built. It stings that my SIL can’t see my work as legitimate unless it benefits her for free — but I’m relieved I stood firm instead of letting resentment build.

💭 Emotional Reflection

This isn’t a story about a cake — it’s about respect. When someone repeatedly minimizes your work, then expects you to provide it for free, it becomes a boundary issue, not a baking one. Saying no wasn’t petty; it was necessary.

Could I have agreed just to keep the peace? Sure. But peace built on resentment never lasts, especially in families where certain members already treat your skills like a convenient favor rather than a profession.

Some people will say “family helps family,” others will say “free labor isn’t love.” The truth sits somewhere in between — you can support people without letting them take advantage of your livelihood.

Here’s how the community might see it:

“A four-tier wedding cake isn’t a gift — it’s a full week of labor. She’s entitled, not you.”

“If she truly respected your business, she wouldn’t expect free professional work. Family discount is more than fair.”

“MIL trying to keep the peace by sacrificing your boundaries is classic. Good on your wife for backing you.”

Reactions will likely side with you — most people understand that creative labor still deserves compensation, especially when it’s someone’s livelihood, not a hobby.

🌱 Final Thoughts

Standing firm wasn’t selfish — it was professional. Your business matters, and your time and labor have value. Letting someone steamroll that because they’re “family” only teaches them it’s okay to ignore your boundaries.

You offered a fair compromise, and your wife supports you. The fallout is uncomfortable, but protecting your work — and your self-respect — is worth it.

What do you think?
Would you have made the cake anyway, or held your ground the way I did? Share your thoughts below 👇