AITA for asking the judge to let me and my brother live with our mom instead of splitting time between our parents?
After testifying, we were granted permission to live with our mom full-time, but with mandated phone calls to our dad that have turned contentious.
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I’m the older sibling who, along with my brother, decided to live with our mom full time after years of emotional turmoil with our dad and his new family.
Our dad's infidelity, financial struggles, and unresolved grief over past events led to a difficult decision to prioritize our well-being by choosing to live with our mom.
"Dad uses the mandated phone calls to question our decision and bring up painful past events, making communication strained and uncomfortable."
The fallout of our choice has led to continued conflict with our dad, who remains steadfast in his belief that our mom is to blame for past grievances and insists on loyalty despite our differing perspectives.
🏠 The Aftermath
Our decision to live with our mom has strained our relationship with our dad, who struggles to accept our choice and continues to use the court-mandated phone calls as a platform for his grievances.
Consequences include ongoing emotional turmoil and a fractured family dynamic marked by resentment and unresolved issues.
"Past wounds and deep-seated resentment continue to overshadow attempts at communication and reconciliation within the family."
Our decision, rooted in a desire for emotional well-being, has highlighted the challenges of navigating complex family dynamics and conflicting loyalties.
💭 Emotional Reflection
Our decision to live with our mom was not easy, but it was necessary for our emotional well-being. The ongoing conflict with our dad underscores the complex layers of loyalty, grief, and unresolved issues within our family.
Choosing to prioritize our mental health and stability has highlighted the challenges of navigating familial expectations and the need for individual agency in making difficult decisions.
Reasonable people may differ in their perspectives, but at the core of our choice is a desire for harmony and emotional peace amidst familial discord.
Here’s how the community might see it:
“Your decision was rooted in self-care and safety, and should be respected for the emotional well-being it seeks to preserve.”



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