Am I letting a silly book club thing risk my marriage?

March 06, 2026

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AITA for feeling guilty after a book shopping trip with a new book club member?

I’m a married bookworm who recently bonded with a new member in my book club. A casual outing to a secondhand bookstore turned into unexpected feelings, leaving me questioning if I crossed a line.

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I’m a married book lover who found myself unexpectedly close to a new club member. We planned a casual Saturday outing to hunt for rare books, but what started as friendly quickly made me question my feelings and loyalty.

I’m 34, married, and have enjoyed a year in a book club full of great people. Recently, a new member, 28, joined and we connected over sci-fi and nerdy interests. Our group meets every other Thursday at a cozy coffee shop, where last week she asked me for help finding a rare book.

"After way too much pumpkin spice latte, she asked if I could help her find some rare book she'd been wanting."

We planned to visit a quirky secondhand bookshop on Saturday. She shared she used to work at a bookstore, and we had a lot of laughs. As the day went on, she suggested we do this more often—just the two of us. Suddenly, I felt an anxious knot, thinking about my wife and our shared love of books.

"My stupid inner voice just went, 'dude, is this emotional cheating?'"

I panicked and told her I couldn’t hang out more outside the group meet-ups, citing vague reasons. She seemed understanding. Now, back home, I’m confused — was I overthinking? Am I an idiot for taking a harmless book shopping trip so seriously?

🏠 The Aftermath

The book shopping outing led to a wave of anxious self-reflection. I pulled back from spending time with the new member outside our club meetings to honor my marriage.

While the new member seemed okay with my boundary, I’m still wrestling with whether my feelings were a warning sign or just an overreaction.

I haven’t shared my internal conflict with my wife yet, and the situation made me realize how emotional entanglements can sneak into innocent friendships.