AITA for "hiding" assets from my aunt's estate from my cousins?

November 28, 2025

AITA for insisting family heirloom jewelry passes only to female descendants despite aunt’s wishes for adopted cousin?

When my aunt revealed she had an adopted son, family tensions flared over inheritance. Though she wants to leave everything to her son and his child, I believe grandmother’s jewelry should stay with female descendants like me. Now, a brewing conflict over who truly owns the legacy jewelry is threatening family bonds.

✍︎

I’m the only daughter in my family, and I believe the jewelry from my grandmother—explicitly left to female descendants—should stay within the women, even though my aunt’s adopted son is being named heir. This is about honoring a legacy, not money.

I’m 40 and the only daughter among siblings. My aunt—my dad’s only sibling—revealed only recently that she had a son she gave up for adoption when she was 19. He’s now 35 with a son of his own. Despite this, he doesn’t share our family last name and never met our grandparents. He and his son visit my aunt occasionally but haven’t joined the larger family events.

"My aunt wants to leave everything to Cousin and his son, but legally, without a will, they aren’t automatic heirs."

My grandmother’s will included a special set of jewelry left to me and the rest “specifically to my aunt, her only daughter.” One piece had a note expressing a wish that after my aunt passes, it would be reset to match my set—implying it should come to me. The will made no mention of my brothers, dad, or their spouses.

"Grandma left jewelry explicitly to her women descendants, not to brothers or cousin’s family."

When dementia worsened, I took charge of safeguarding grandma’s jewelry, putting pieces not kept by my aunt into a safety deposit box under my name, my aunt’s, and my brother’s. I handle caretaking of my aunt’s estate and personal care, while cousin’s family does not get involved. My dad insists all should go to Cousin since that’s his “inheritance” and gets angry at the arrangement.

🏠 The Aftermath

The inheritance situation has strained family ties deeply. Cousin is uncomfortable with parts of the jewelry and refuses some pieces, complicating plans.

Attempts at communication have been made; I offered to document the jewelry’s history and coordinate with cousin, who declined full involvement and asked me to handle legal details for my aunt’s now unprepared will.

My dad is upset, viewing Cousin as the rightful heir, while I focus on respecting grandmother’s specific wishes and the legacy through female descendants. The lack of a current will or clarity heightens tension.

"If you decline to be a part of the process, you lose some say in how it happens."

I manage care and estate organization, while cousin’s family has mostly stayed distant, focused elsewhere. The future of the jewelry and estate remains uncertain.