AITA for keeping my ex’s life insurance payout and refusing to hand over the car tied to my credit?

My ex died in a work accident a year after cheating, getting someone else pregnant, and leaving my life shattered. Now his family wants me to give up both the life insurance he left me and the car that’s still under my credit.

My ex and I were together for five years, and the relationship ended when he cheated and got someone else pregnant. The breakup destroyed me, and I went completely no-contact to heal. We hadn’t spoken in over a year when he passed away. I didn’t attend the funeral because I didn’t want to face his family or the woman he cheated with. My grief for him had already happened when the relationship fell apart. But after his death, I learned he had taken out a life insurance policy six months after we broke up — and he made me a 50% beneficiary. His mom and the baby mama got 25% each. This was his conscious decision, not leftover paperwork.

I didn’t ask for the policy, I didn’t ask for the car in my name — but now his family wants everything, while I’m left holding all the liability.

There’s also a car involved — one he financed during our relationship but put under my name and credit. I begged him for over a year to refinance it, and the only communication I ever initiated post-breakup was about getting that liability off my credit. He never did it. Now the car is sitting in my garage, still legally mine, and his family wants the baby mama to have it for work. I told them I’ll hand it over the second it’s refinanced out of my name. Until then, I’m not risking my credit on people who were never reliable.

"You can have the car the moment it's off my credit — not a second before."

Then came the pressure about the life insurance. They said I should “do the right thing” and hand over my 50% to his mom or the baby mama. But I didn’t ask to be included. He intentionally named me after the breakup, and the choice feels meaningful. After five years of emotional turmoil, betrayal, lies, and healing, part of me feels like this money is the only closure I’ll ever get — the only acknowledgment of everything I endured.

"I didn't ask for this — he made that choice. And after everything, I feel like I earned it."

His family says I’m selfish and heartless. But they weren’t the ones picking up the pieces of myself after he cheated. They weren’t the ones he lied to, gaslit, and abandoned. I grieved him when he left. I didn’t expect anything from him ever again — yet he chose to give me this. And now everyone else is demanding I give it away.

🏠 The Aftermath

Right now, the car is still sitting in my garage. The baby mama wants it, but I refuse to let it leave my possession until it’s legally removed from my credit. His family keeps insisting that I should hand over both the car and the life insurance payout “for the child.”

From their perspective: they likely see me as the ex who walked away and is now holding onto money that could help his new family. From mine: I’m protecting my financial future and honoring the fact that he intentionally named me as a beneficiary after everything that happened.

The fallout has sparked tension, guilt trips, and pressure. The only thing that hasn’t changed is my stance: I’m not surrendering my credit or the decision he made regarding the insurance.

"I grieved this man when our relationship ended — not when he died."

I may not be devastated by his death the way others are, but I’m not heartless. I simply refuse to be responsible for debts that aren’t mine, or to give up something he knowingly left to me.

💭 Emotional Reflection

This situation exposes how grief, obligation, and past trauma get tangled when an ex passes away. You can mourn who someone used to be without sacrificing your own financial security or the boundaries you built to heal.

Could some argue that the money should go to the child? Yes. But it’s also valid to recognize that he made a deliberate choice to leave something to you — someone he hurt deeply. Whether out of guilt, closure, or gratitude, the decision was his, not yours.

Reasonable people will disagree: some will say give the money up; others will say you owe them nothing after the betrayal and aftermath you endured.

Here’s how the community might see it:

“If he wanted the baby mama or child to have 50%, he would’ve written it that way. He didn’t.”

“You’re not heartless for protecting your credit. Handing over a financed car would be financial suicide.”

“You already grieved that relationship. You don’t owe them your closure money.”

Most responses would emphasize boundaries, legal rights, and the reality that you didn’t ask to be part of this situation — he put you there.

🌱 Final Thoughts

You didn’t create this conflict — he did, both in life and in death. It’s okay to honor the healing you worked hard for and keep what he left you without guilt. Letting his family’s emotions dictate your decisions would only reopen wounds you already fought to close.

Protect your credit, protect your peace, and remember: you’re allowed to accept what he intentionally left to you, even if others don’t understand why.

What do you think?
Would you keep the policy and require refinancing, or cave to family pressure? Share your thoughts below 👇