AITA for being devastated after my husband cancelled on a once-in-a-lifetime playoff night I paid $700 for?

I spent $700 on tickets to see the Canadiens in the playoffs — a lifelong dream — after my husband promised he'd come with me. He cancelled with no emergency, no apology, and offered to pay me back; now I feel heartbroken and unsure if I'm overreacting.

We’re both lawyers with intense schedules and long hours; most of our downtime is spent decompressing together. I’ve wanted to see the Canadiens in the playoffs my whole life — he knows this, and when it looked possible I asked him to promise he wouldn’t cancel if I bought the tickets. I paid $700 for two Friday-game tickets and planned for us to make a memory together. I even helped him reorganize his calendar last weekend so he could be free on Friday.

I trusted him — he promised to go, I bought the tickets, and when he cancelled for being “behind on work” with no real excuse, I felt crushed more than angry.

This morning he woke up very late because he’d been working nonstop since Sunday. That derailed his day; we barely spoke because he needed to focus. Then, out of nowhere in the evening he texted that he can’t come on Friday — “too behind on work” — with no trial or emergency. He said he tried for an hour to rearrange but couldn’t, and suggested I “go with someone else.” He also offered to refund the ticket money, which made me feel like he missed the point entirely.

"I paid $700 and I wanted that night with you — not a refund."

I’ve been crying for over an hour. It isn’t the money — it’s that he didn’t call, didn’t seem to feel bad, didn’t acknowledge how much this meant, and didn’t reply to the message I sent saying I was hurt and disappointed. I had even rearranged my own schedule around the plan. We had agreed; he promised. Now I’m left holding a big emotional hole where a shared moment should have been.

"He told me to go with someone else. I didn't want 'someone else' — I wanted him."

I’m trying to be fair: we both work crazy hours and I know obligations come up. But unless something genuinely unexpected occurred, canceling a promise for something this significant feels like a breach. I also worry — did he cancel because he was punishing me for not waking him today? I need to know whether this was a breakdown in communication or something more intentional.

🏠 The Aftermath

Right now I’m devastated and we haven’t had a real conversation — he hasn’t replied to my text. The game is still on the calendar, but the person I wanted beside me backed out and offered money instead of empathy. That changed the meaning of the event for me.

For him: he’s heading into a busy weekend at work and likely believes he made a pragmatic choice. For me: I’m left hurt, wondering about priorities and whether I can rely on his promises. At home there’s a new coldness and a need for a real discussion about expectations and consideration.

Consequences include a damaged trust around promises, emotional distance, and the potential that this memory — something I wanted us to share — will now be associated with disappointment instead of joy.

"I helped him plan his schedule so he'd be free — and he still cancelled."

I’m trying to decide whether to go alone, take someone else, or wait for him to make amends. Whatever I choose, this will be a test of how we handle grief over small but meaningful losses together.

💭 Emotional Reflection

This isn’t purely about calendar logistics — it’s about promises, attention, and emotional labor. In high-stress careers like ours, being reliable for the things that matter emotionally is how partners keep intimacy alive. Canceling an agreed-to moment without obvious cause, and offering money in place of remorse, communicates a mismatch in values.

At the same time, it’s fair to acknowledge that work pressures can be overwhelming, and last-minute reality sometimes clashes with plans. The balance here is communication: a phone call, an honest apology, and recognition of what the night represented would go a long way toward repair.

Reasonable people might split: some will say he made a pragmatic choice in a busy profession; others will say he failed to honor a promise and the emotional consequences are real and valid.

Here’s how the community might see it:

“Work is intense, but he promised. This was about intention, not the ticket price.”

“If he genuinely couldn’t, a call and heartfelt apology would fix most of this — not a refund.”

“You helped him plan his schedule; that makes this feel avoidable and therefore more painful.”

Responses are likely to encourage a frank conversation, ask for acknowledgment and an apology from him, and suggest clarifying how you both prioritize promises versus work demands going forward.

🌱 Final Thoughts

This hurts because it was never about the money — it was about being seen and choosing each other for the moments that matter. You were vulnerable and he broke an explicit promise; that fracture needs attention, not a monetary fix.

A good next step is to ask for a real conversation: explain how this felt, ask what happened, and see if he can show empathy and a plan to prevent this pattern. Whether you go to the game alone, with a friend, or wait for repair, make the choice that protects your emotional well-being.

What do you think?
Would you accept a refund and move on, or insist on an apology and a repair? Share your take below 👇