AITA for skipping my dad’s pink "surprise" and taking my kids to McDonald’s instead?

My 5-year-old daughter Cleo has hated pink since she was about three, but my dad’s partner Prue keeps giving her pink gifts and even decorated a “surprise” entirely in pink — so we refused to go and spent the evening at McDonald’s instead. Now my dad and Prue are furious and accusing me of making Cleo restrictive and ungrateful.

I’m 33 and my daughter Cleo is 5. Cleo has disliked pink and almost everything that goes with it since she was about three — she has one pink shirt she likes and one pink stuffed animal, and that’s it. My father’s partner, Prue, refuses to accept this and over the years has given almost every gift to Cleo in some shade of pink, despite me repeatedly asking her to stop. Last week my father invited me, my husband and the kids for dinner and said there was a surprise for the children. Before we left, my younger sister (who still lives with our father) texted that the “surprise” was actually a small birthday party Prue had planned for Cleo, even though Cleo’s birthday is in November and my dad missed the real party because of work. My sister sent photos and everything at my dad’s house was pink: tableware, balloons, banners, a pink cake — it clearly wasn’t tailored to what Cleo likes. I showed my husband and we decided not to go. I texted my father: “Hey, (sister) told me everything. We’re not coming. We’re taking the kids to McDonalds and telling them that was your surprise. You and Prue can come if you want, we’re paying.”

I’m a mum who’s tired of a partner constantly pushing pink onto my child, so I skipped a staged “surprise” party and took the kids out — now my dad and his partner won’t speak to us.

Cleo has made her preference clear for years: she dislikes pink and doesn’t want it forced on her. Prue has repeatedly ignored that and continued to give pink gifts and push the color as something Cleo should “try.” When my sister sent photos of the surprise decorations — an entire table, banners, foil fringe and a pink cake — my husband and I decided it wasn’t for our child and we wouldn’t subject her to it. I told my dad we weren’t coming and that we’d treat the kids to McDonald’s instead, offering that he and Prue could join us and we’d pay.

"She warned me the 'surprise' was actually a pink birthday party Prue had planned for Cleo."

We went to McDonald’s. My father did come over later without Prue but was cold and left about 20 minutes after arriving. Both my father and Prue were furious afterward — my dad insulted our decision to dismiss what he called Prue’s “heartfelt gesture,” and Prue accused me of being the reason Cleo is “restrictive,” saying I’m raising her to be ungrateful and unwilling to compromise. I understand why some would say I was rude for canceling without a face-to-face conversation, but I also felt it was another instance of Prue ignoring Cleo’s clear dislike.

"We’re not coming. We’re taking the kids to McDonalds and telling them that was your surprise. You and Prue can come if you want, we’re paying."

My sister and one brother sided with me (though my sister said I’d been blunt), another brother is undecided, and my dad and Prue remain angry. Cleo doesn’t know I dislike pink and I wouldn’t make a big deal if she ever chose it herself — this was about stopping repeated pressure from an adult who wouldn’t accept her preference.

🏠 The Aftermath

Cleo is fine and unaware of the full argument; she enjoyed the evening we planned for her. My dad is upset and distant, and Prue has accused me of creating a problem and "spoiling" my child. My dad arrived without Prue, was cold, and left early.

At my house: we kept the mood calm for the kids and avoided a situation that would have forced Cleo into wearing or celebrating with a color she dislikes. At my dad’s house: tension and hurt feelings, with my father framing our absence as rejection of Prue’s effort.

Consequences include strained family relationships, arguments about parenting and respect for a child’s preferences, and my own guilt about how I communicated the decision.

"A 'heartfelt gesture' shouldn’t ignore a child’s clear boundaries."

I’m relieved my daughter wasn’t put through something she dislikes, but I’m also aware this blew up into a bigger family argument about respect, manners, and how adults impose their tastes on children.

💭 Emotional Reflection

This isn’t just about a color — it’s about an adult repeatedly ignoring a child’s clear boundary and a parent deciding to protect that boundary. There’s also the social expectation to accept gestures graciously and the awkwardness of canceling a planned event at the last minute.

Could I have handled the communication more gently or called my dad before deciding? Probably. Could Prue have respected Cleo’s consistent dislike instead of insisting she “try different shades”? Yes. Reasonable people will split: some will prioritise politeness and maintaining family peace, others will prioritise a child’s autonomy and comfort.

Ultimately this shows how small choices about children’s preferences can reveal larger dynamics: who gets to decide, how adults respect kids’ agency, and when “kind intentions” cross a child’s boundaries.

Here’s how the community might see it:

“You protected your child’s boundary — NTA. Forcing a kid into something repeatedly is the issue, not refusing the surprise.”

“You could’ve called your dad first and explained calmly — cancelling without a heads-up looks rude, even if you had good reasons.”

“Prue should stop imposing her tastes on a child. But the whole family needs clearer communication so this doesn’t keep happening.”

Reactions split between protecting the child’s wishes and maintaining family diplomacy; common themes are respect for boundaries, better communication, and whether politeness should trump a parent’s decision for their kid.

🌱 Final Thoughts

A child’s preference about a color may seem trivial to outsiders, but when an adult repeatedly dismisses that preference it becomes about control and respect. I chose to avoid putting Cleo in an uncomfortable situation, even if my delivery could have been smoother.

Some will say I should have handled it differently; others will say I did the right thing protecting my daughter. What do you think?
Would you have gone to the party and tried to steer the situation there, or skipped it to protect a child’s boundary? Share your thoughts below 👇