AITA for throwing away a Valentine’s package my ex accidentally sent to my house?

I’ve been divorced from my ex for a year, but he still keeps sending mail to my address—including a Valentine’s gift clearly meant for the woman he got pregnant while we were still together.

My ex-husband (34M) and I (38F) divorced after years of infidelity and gaslighting. He repeatedly denied cheating, told me I “needed therapy,” and insisted my suspicions were delusional—right up until the day I found solid proof again and finally asked for a divorce. Months later, through mutual friends, I learned he was expecting a baby, with a conception date that landed while we were still together. Since the split, he’s lived elsewhere, my home is solely mine, but his mail continues to show up here despite countless reminders. Insurance cards, official papers—everything. I’ve held his mail for months, handed over his belongings, and celebrated that I’d never need to see him again. Then yesterday, a package arrived. Thinking it was mine, I opened it. Instead, I found a jewelry box with two cheap necklaces clearly meant as a Valentine’s gift for the new woman—the mother of his affair baby.

I’m the ex-wife who finally escaped the chaos, only to keep getting his mail—including a Valentine’s gift for the woman he cheated with. I opened it by mistake, and now I’m wondering if tossing it would make me the bad guy.

During the marriage, his cheating was constant, cruel, and always denied. He even blamed me for “false assumptions” while sleeping with other women—one of whom now has his child. After the separation, I stayed civil only to finalize the divorce and remove him from my home. But even now, his irresponsibility follows me in the form of mail he won’t reroute. I’ve asked him kindly and repeatedly; he always says he’ll fix it. He never does. So when a jewelry box arrived addressed to him, I instantly recognized the green rhinestones as the birthstone of his new partner—the same woman he conceived a child with before our marriage ended.

"I opened it thinking it was mine, only to find cheap necklaces clearly meant for his new girlfriend."

He’s never ordered from this company while we were married, so it’s hard to believe this was an old address saved in an account. At this point, I genuinely don’t know if he’s being malicious, careless, or just incredibly stupid. But I do know I want no contact. I don’t want to text him again. I don’t want to hand over a Valentine’s gift for the woman he cheated with while accusing me of being “crazy.” And yet… part of me wonders if tossing it makes me petty.

"Would I be the asshole for throwing the whole package in the trash?"

The necklace set costs under $80. It’s not fine jewelry. It’s nothing sentimental to me. But it represents the last tether between us—a tether I want gone. I have no obligation to store, sort, or hand-deliver gifts for his affair partner, yet I still feel a twinge of guilt about discarding something he paid for. I want clean peace, not one more conversation with him.

🏠 The Aftermath

Right now, I’m stuck with a package meant for the woman he cheated with, delivered to my house because he still won’t update his address. I want to delete his number and move on completely.

At his house: he has a new partner, a new baby, and apparently a new life. At mine: I’m finally free—except for the stream of mail and mistakes that keep dragging his shadow back in.

The consequences are mostly emotional: reopening old hurt, refreshing anger I’d rather let fade, and forcing me into unwanted contact every time his mail appears.

"Even after the divorce, his carelessness still lands on my doorstep—literally."

I want this to be over. Truly over. And that means no more packages, no more reminders, and definitely no more Valentine’s gifts addressed to him showing up at my home.

💭 Emotional Reflection

This isn’t just about a cheap necklace—it’s about boundaries after betrayal. I’ve done the polite thing for a year, sorting mail for a man who cheated on me, lied to me, and fathered a child behind my back.

Could I text him and arrange pickup? Yes. But doing so would reopen a door I’ve worked hard to close. I’m not withholding anything precious; I’m protecting my peace.

Some will say tossing it is petty. Others will say that after years of emotional manipulation, I’ve earned the right to choose myself first. This situation is a collision between obligation and emotional safety—and not everyone weighs those the same.

Here’s how the community might see it:

“If he wanted his mail, he should update his address. You’re not his secretary anymore.”

“Throwing it away isn’t petty—it’s self-preservation after years of being treated horribly.”

“It’s rude to toss it, but understandable. A quick ‘your package is here’ text might save drama—but you’re not obligated.”

Reactions tend to balance empathy for healing with the belief that personal boundaries matter, especially after trauma and manipulation.

🌱 Final Thoughts

Sometimes the things we want gone aren’t objects—they’re reminders. This necklace wasn’t mine, wasn’t my problem, and wasn’t something I ever wanted to handle again.

Whether I toss it or text him, the real question is how much emotional energy I’m willing to spend on a man who took far too much of it already.

What do you think?
Would throwing it away be freeing—or crossing a line? Share your thoughts below 👇