AITA for giving my two adult daughters one week to move out after they ignored my sick 7-year-old son?

My two daughters (both in their 20s) moved back in after college, but when my sick 7-year-old son needed help and they didn’t answer him, I told them to leave — now they’re upset and giving me the silent treatment.

I’m the mother of two adult daughters who recently moved back in because they couldn’t find work. The house belonged to my late husband Robert (he passed six months ago), and I also have my 7-year-old son Tom with whom I live. The girls never had a good relationship with Robert — they lived with their dad before college and resented Robert because of things their dad said. After Robert died they moved in with me when they couldn’t afford rent, and while they were polite to Tom they stayed emotionally distant.

I’m a grieving wife and mom who welcomed my daughters home — but when they ignored my sick little boy’s calls while I was out, I told them they have one week to move out, and now they’ve shut me out.

Two days ago I had to leave the house for an expected call and asked the girls to watch Tom — he was sick and in bed. I was gone briefly; an hour later Tom texted me that he’d thrown up in his room and asked me to come home. He said he had called and texted his sisters but no one answered. When I rang both their phones they were busy; I rushed home and found one daughter downstairs and the other claiming she was using "kitchen appliances" and couldn’t hear him. Tom insisted his messages showed as read but got no reply.

"His message was 'read' but no response."

I lost my temper and blew up at them, calling them pathetic. They pushed back, saying I was forcing them into a parental role and placing responsibility on them unfairly. I see it differently: Tom is seven, he’s sick, and he has nothing to do with whatever resentment they hold toward Robert. Their cold response felt intentional. I told them they had one week to move out.

"They started arguing and even crying saying I'm being too harsh."

After I gave them the ultimatum, both daughters went silent toward me and accused me of being worse than their dad’s new wife, who they say drove them away. They’re now giving me the silent treatment and making me feel guilty, while I’m worried about leaving Tom with people who ignored him when he needed help. I’m second-guessing whether I overreacted or if I did the right thing to protect my son.

🏠 The Aftermath

Right now: both daughters are still in the house but giving me the silent treatment, tensions are high, and I’ve set a one-week deadline for them to find another place. Tom is safe with me but shaken by being ignored while sick.

At home: grief over Robert’s death, strained bonds with the adult daughters, and the daily reality of a seven-year-old who relies on me. For the daughters: they feel punished and compared to the new wife of their dad, and they argue they were asked to parent unfairly.

Consequences include fractured family communication, potential homelessness stress for the daughters if they can’t secure housing quickly, and ongoing guilt and second-guessing for me about whether my reaction was fair or too harsh.

"I blew up at them both and called them pathetic."

I’m torn: I don’t want to lose my relationship with my daughters, but I also can’t ignore what felt like deliberate neglect of a sick child. The situation lays bare old resentments and new vulnerabilities since Robert’s passing.

💭 Emotional Reflection

This is less about punishment and more about safety and boundaries. After Robert’s death the house and dynamics changed, and old grievances toward him and toward the girls' father’s new wife complicate how everyone behaves. My primary duty is to Tom’s wellbeing; being ignored when sick felt like a clear breach of acceptable behavior, regardless of past grudges.

Could I have acted differently? Possibly — I might have tried a calmer conversation, set concrete expectations before leaving, or arranged a temporary check-in system. But when a child’s basic needs are neglected, a firm response is understandable. The tension is between protecting a vulnerable child and supporting adult children who are grieving and struggling to get back on their feet.

Reasonable people could disagree: some will say adults should be treated with more patience during hard times; others will say that neglecting a sick child is unacceptable and warrants decisive action. Both views highlight compassion, responsibility, and how grief can distort family roles.

Here’s how the community might see it:

“You’re responsible for the seven-year-old — if they ignored him while he was vomiting, you were right to act to protect him.”

“They’re grieving and unemployed — a firmer talk and clear duties might have worked better than an ultimatum.”

“Calling them pathetic escalated things — set boundaries but offer help finding housing or a compromise for a transition.”

Reactions will likely split between protecting the child and showing leniency for adult children who are grieving and struggling; common themes are accountability, communication, and practical support versus firm boundaries.

🌱 Final Thoughts

When grief, money, and shifting household roles collide, basic caregiving can become a flashpoint. You wanted to protect your little boy and reacted strongly when you believed he was deliberately ignored — that is a defensible parental instinct.

At the same time, there may be room to repair relationships with clear expectations, practical help finding alternatives, and a chance for the daughters to demonstrate responsibility before they leave. That could preserve bonds while keeping Tom safe.

What do you think?
Would you have set the same ultimatum, tried a calmer compromise, or offered them a structured transition instead? Share your thoughts below 👇