AITAH for snapping and asking our server “Would you like us to order less?”

November 13, 2025

AITA for snapping at a server who joked I "can't eat here" because I'm visibly pregnant?

I was 34 weeks pregnant and out with my husband and a friend at a raw bar. A server made a series of remarks about my pregnancy and I lost my temper — now I'm wondering if I overreacted.

I met my husband and a friend at a raw bar after work. I'm 34 weeks pregnant and couldn't eat oysters or drink beer, but I was happy to hang out. I arrived a few minutes after them and the server greeted the table by saying, "I see you waddling up, you can't eat here!" I laughed it off and said I was fine just to sit with them. After we ordered drinks, my husband and I started talking about the oyster selection — it's something I know a lot about and normally I pick which oysters we get, while he usually chooses the beers. The server seemed visibly annoyed when I made suggestions about the oysters and muttered that I was being "bossy." I ignored it, ordered the oysters for my husband, and didn't comment on the other items ordered.

I'm 34 weeks pregnant, I know oysters and usually order them for my husband — a server kept making pregnancy comments and calling me "bossy," and when she later told me to come back when I wasn't pregnant I snapped and asked if she wanted us to order less.

During the first round, the server's tone kept feeling snippy when I made oyster suggestions; I normally order oysters because I know the varieties and flavor differences, and my husband trusts my picks. After the plates were cleared he wanted more oysters and asked me to tell the server which ones to bring. I relayed his choices and the server snapped that I was "pushing him around" and called me "bossy" earlier. Things escalated when she added, "I hope you come back when you're not pregnant so I can get to know the real you."