AITA for taking my neglected nephew in and telling my brother he failed as a father?

For years I’ve watched my older nephew be neglected while his younger brother was spoiled rotten. After a Christmas blowup over a Nintendo Switch, I took the older one home with me and told my brother exactly what I thought of his parenting—and now I’m being accused of “playing favorites.”

I’m 31M, my brother is 40, and he has two sons—Jack (16) and James (13). Jack was born when my brother was still in college and absolutely not ready for a baby. He and his girlfriend struggled, and our parents and I stepped in to help. Years later, once he finished school, got a job, and married his girlfriend, they had their “planned” child, James. From that point on, they poured money, gifts, and attention into James while Jack was mostly left to make do with less. Jack never complained; he’d just smile watching his little brother open his fancy toys. Meanwhile, James learned very quickly that he could compare, demand, and manipulate—and his parents would always take his side. Over the years I watched Jack’s spark fade while James grew more entitled and petty.

I’m the uncle who bought both nephews the same gift, watched the spoiled one weaponize it, and finally snapped—calling out my brother’s parenting and taking the older boy home with me when nobody else would protect him.

I’ve always loved both boys, even though I’ve never agreed with how differently they’re treated. Jack, the “oops” baby, grew up with hand-me-downs and low expectations, while James, the “planned” child, got expensive toys, better clothes, and constant praise. Whenever anyone pointed this out, their parents would shrug and say James “deserved it” because they were finally stable. James learned how to weaponize that: if Jack ever got anything nice, James would pout, demand the same or better, or twist situations so Jack ended up punished. Jack just took it on the chin and kept quiet, but over time I watched the light go out of him.

"I told them that if they hated Jack so much, I could take him in."

This Christmas, I decided to do something special and fair: I bought both Jack and James their own Nintendo Switch. Jack had wanted one for years and nearly cried when he opened it—he hugged me and thanked me over and over. James, on the other hand, sneered that he wanted a PS5, not “this,” and literally threw his console aside. I figured that was on him; I’d done my part. But a few days later, James smashed his own Switch, then ran to his mom in tears, claiming Jack broke it. Their mom believed him instantly, took Jack’s Switch away, handed it to James, and grounded Jack.

"Jack was having too much fun, and it irritated me."

That was Jack’s breaking point. After years of taking the blame, he snapped. He grabbed James by the neck and started choking him while demanding that he tell the truth. He said he saw red and barely registered his mom screaming and hitting him to stop. James finally confessed that he’d broken his own console just because Jack was “having too much fun.” Jack let go, ran out of the house, and showed up at my apartment sobbing and shaking. Later, when my brother called, he demanded I send Jack back so he could “answer for what he did”—so I went with Jack, confronted James in front of everyone, and then told my brother outright that he’d failed as a parent and that if they were going to keep treating Jack like this, I would take him in myself. Then I brought Jack home with me.

🏠 The Aftermath

Right now, Jack is living with me. He’s been playing games on his Switch, doing his schoolwork, and just… breathing without waiting for the next unfair punishment. He’s a good kid who finally has a little peace.

Back at his parents’ house, the fallout has been messy. James is terrified of Jack now that he’s finally seen consequences for his behavior, and my brother seems to be in shock after hearing his younger son admit he broke the console out of spite. For the first time, he actually shut his wife down instead of automatically defending James.

My sister-in-law, however, is furious with me. She keeps calling and texting that I was “cruel” to James, that I’m meddling in their family, and that I’m playing favorites by taking Jack’s side and taking him in. I haven’t responded, and my brother has stayed quiet so far—maybe processing, maybe avoiding. In the meantime, Jack has a bed, a console that’s actually his, and someone who believes him.

"If watching your kid’s happiness makes his brother angry enough to lie and destroy things, the problem isn’t the gift—it’s the way you’ve raised them."

I’m not pretending Jack was right to put his hands on James, but I can understand the rage of a teenager who’s been sidelined and scapegoated for years. I stepped in where his parents wouldn’t, and now everyone has to sit with the consequences of the dynamic they created.

💭 Emotional Reflection

This isn’t just a “brothers fighting over a console” story; it’s about a long pattern of favoritism that pushed one kid to the brink and turned the other into someone who can’t tolerate his brother’s happiness. The Switch was just the match—years of unequal treatment were the fuel.

Could I have stayed out of it and let their parents handle it? Sure. But “handling it” up to this point has meant punishing Jack and excusing James. Confronting the truth in front of everyone, taking Jack in, and telling my brother directly that he’s failed Jack felt like the only way to break the pattern, even if it made me the family villain for a while.

Reasonable people might say I should have focused more on Jack’s outburst and less on my brother’s mistakes, or that choking crosses a line no matter what. Others will argue that protecting an abused or neglected kid is more important than preserving an adult’s ego or pretending everything is fine for “peace.”

Here’s how the community might see it:

“You didn’t play favorites—you finally gave Jack the protection and validation his parents refused to give him for years.”

“James didn’t become this entitled on his own. His parents created this dynamic, and now they’re shocked by the monster they helped build.”

“Jack needs support to deal with all that pent-up anger, but taking him out of that environment was absolutely the right first step.”

Reactions tend to split between concern over Jack’s violent outburst and sympathy for what pushed him there in the first place, with recurring themes of parental favoritism, accountability, and what it really means to show up for a kid who’s been sidelined.

🌱 Final Thoughts

Sometimes the “family business” that everyone says you shouldn’t meddle in is exactly what’s breaking a kid. I chose to step in where my brother wouldn’t, and if that means my sister-in-law thinks I’m the bad guy, I can live with that a lot easier than watching Jack be torn down again and again.

To some, I crossed a line by calling my brother a failed father and taking Jack home. To others, I finally drew one—between enabling a toxic status quo and protecting a teenager who reached his breaking point.

What do you think?
Would you have left Jack there and stayed out of it, or taken him in and confronted his parents like I did? Share your thoughts below 👇