AITA for wanting permanent birth control even though my husband says God wants us to have unlimited children?

I’m pregnant with my fourth baby at 26, exhausted, in pain, and terrified of being forced into endless pregnancies while my husband insists birth control is against God’s will.

My marriage didn’t start this way. My husband wasn’t deeply religious, and I never imagined “as many children as God allows” would become our life philosophy. But after his mother passed, he and his father plunged into a strict religious mindset. Meanwhile, my pregnancies have been brutal — I get cholestasis every time, my body aches constantly, and I’m overwhelmed raising three little ones with another due any day. When I got approval to have my tubes tied, I hesitated because, outside this issue, our relationship is amazing and I don’t want to lose him. But the idea of endless pregnancies terrifies me. Even suggesting an IUD led him to imply it was the same as having abortions. I’m miserable, scared, and feel trapped between protecting my health and keeping my marriage.

I’m exhausted, pregnant, and aching everywhere, but my husband believes birth control interferes with God’s plan — and I’m terrified of being forced into pregnancy after pregnancy.

My kids are 5, 3, 14 months, and soon a newborn. I can’t work, I’m constantly touched out, overstimulated, and overwhelmed. My husband now believes children are dictated solely by God’s will and follows everything his father tells him. Meanwhile, pregnancy destroys me — the itching from cholestasis is unbearable, my hips and back feel like they’re breaking, and I can hardly sleep. I want my tubes tied more than anything, but fear his resentment and losing the good parts of our marriage.

"My husband would have 19 kids himself if God permitted it."

When I brought up an IUD as a compromise, he said it was my choice—then added that I should “have fun with my abortions.” His logic makes no sense to me, and hearing that broke something inside. I’m trying to be a good mom, but with exhaustion, nonstop childcare, and physical pain, I feel like I’m failing and yelling too much. I feel alone, trapped, and terrified of spending the next decade perpetually pregnant.

"I couldn't imagine going through this 'as many times as God allows.'"

I know people will say to leave him, but it doesn’t feel like an option. I love my kids, I love parts of my marriage, and yet I’m drowning. I just needed somewhere to say all of this, because I don’t know how to keep going if pregnancy is my entire future.

🏠 The Aftermath

Right now, nothing has been resolved. I’m three weeks from giving birth, still approved for a tubal ligation, and terrified to follow through because I don’t want to lose my husband or trigger resentment.

At home, his religious shift dominates our decisions. He shuts down conversations about birth control, and even the IUD suggestion spiraled into accusations. Meanwhile I’m barely keeping myself afloat physically or emotionally.

The consequences are growing fear, growing exhaustion, and a growing sense that my body is no longer mine. His father’s influence has only made things harder for us both.

"In a house where faith dictates family size, my pain doesn’t seem to factor in."

I’m stuck between protecting my health and protecting my relationship, and both options feel like losing something important.

💭 Emotional Reflection

This isn’t a simple disagreement about family size—it's a clash between bodily autonomy and a sudden shift to strict religious expectations. I’m trying to navigate a marriage where love still exists, but so does fear, pressure, and physical suffering.

Could I go along with his beliefs? Maybe. But doing so would mean sacrificing my health, my stability, and my ability to be the mother my children deserve. Wanting birth control isn’t rebellion—it’s survival.

Reasonable people may disagree on faith, marriage dynamics, and medical choices, but it’s clear that endless pregnancies aren’t sustainable for me, physically or emotionally.

Here’s how the community might see it:

“Your body isn’t a community property item. You’re allowed to protect your health, no matter who disagrees.”

“Religious shifts shouldn’t force you into pregnancy after pregnancy. You sound exhausted and unheard.”

“You deserve real medical care and real choice. His father shouldn’t be running your family planning.”

Reactions tend to focus on autonomy, pressure, and the emotional cost of being the only one suffering physically while decisions are made for you.

🌱 Final Thoughts

Pregnancy should never be a punishment, and birth control shouldn’t be a forbidden topic. I’m trying to protect my body while also protecting a marriage I still value, even as both feel increasingly incompatible.

My story isn’t about choosing between faith and freedom—it’s about trying to survive motherhood without losing myself along the way.

What do you think?
Would you choose your health, your marriage, or try to balance both? Share your thoughts below 👇