AITA for quitting my ICU job when my approved Christmas vacation was given to a coworker with a baby?

I worked every major holiday for six years and had an approved week off for Christmas to travel with my retired parents — but my manager revoked it to give a coworker time with her baby, and I handed in my notice.

I’m an ICU nurse who’s worked every Thanksgiving, Christmas Eve, Christmas, and New Year’s for the past six years. I’m widowed (five years) and have no children; my family also works holidays, so we normally celebrate a few days after. In July I requested and was approved for the week of Christmas off to join my retired parents and siblings on a planned trip to Europe to visit relatives and the Christmas markets. In late October my manager called me in and said she had to take my approved vacation away because a coworker who had a baby a few months ago — and who also had a baby about ten months after a previous one last year — needed the time to celebrate the baby’s first Christmas. I argued that my request had been approved months earlier, reminded her I’d covered holidays for years, and pointed out the coworker had not worked holidays last year and hadn’t requested early. My manager insisted holiday priority went to staff with children and would not reinstate my time off, then scheduled me to work Christmas while taking the other nurse off.

I’m the nurse who finally put myself first after my approved Christmas vacation was reassigned to a coworker with a baby—so I quit rather than cancel plans I made months ago.

I explained to my manager that my trip and family plans were booked because my approved request was granted months earlier, and that I’d consistently covered holidays at work for years. She said the department prioritizes staff with children and that her decision stood. I escalated to HR, who said the manager sets the schedule and no policy was violated. Feeling dismissed and seeing the person who didn’t request time off in a timely manner get the dates, I turned in my notice. My last day will be the day before Thanksgiving, and because I quit, the coworker who was given my dates is now scheduled to work Thanksgiving and Christmas.

"My vacation was approved in July — I planned around it and I won't cancel so someone who didn't request early can take it."

I’ve been the one to cover holidays so others could be with family for six years; this was the one time I asked to be with mine after my parents retired and organized a trip. After the meeting with my manager in late October, HR declined to intervene. I submitted my resignation rather than give up the plans I made based on an approved request. Coworkers reacted angrily, saying I should “just suck it up” and let the new parent have the holiday, even though my request was approved and I had a long record of covering holidays.

"I’ve worked every holiday for years — this was the one time I asked to be with my family after my parents retired."

I loved my job and the unit, but I needed to put myself first after years of prioritizing work over personal plans. Nursing jobs are in demand, so I plan to take December off and look for a new position in the new year. Colleagues are calling me a jerk for not acquiescing; I feel I was treated unfairly after my approved request was revoked.

🏠 The Aftermath

I handed in my notice and will leave the job the day before Thanksgiving. The coworker who received my dates now has to work Thanksgiving and Christmas because my resignation changed the schedule.

At work: tension with coworkers who expected me to cover the holiday, a manager and HR who maintain scheduling discretion, and a team having to rearrange coverage for major holidays. At home: I’m taking December off to be with my retired parents and will search for a new nursing position in the new year.

Concrete consequences include short-term staffing adjustments, strained relationships with colleagues, and my own career transition away from a unit I loved.

"After six years of covering holidays, I finally chose my family plans over being the safety net again."

I’m sad to leave a job I cared about, but I’m also relieved to prioritize my own needs after years of putting others and the schedule first. The situation highlighted how informal policies and subjective prioritization can upend plans made in good faith.

💭 Emotional Reflection

This is not simply about a baby versus no baby — it’s about scheduling fairness, honoring approved requests, and who gets to decide when “family priority” applies. The manager exercised discretion; HR declined to override it. The result was a breakdown in trust and my decision to put my plans first.

Reasonable people will see different faults: some will say the manager should have honored the earlier approval; others will feel the new parent deserves support. But the core mismatch was communication and precedent — my approved request created an expectation that was later removed without a policy-based justification I could accept.

I don’t feel like the villain for protecting plans made in good faith, but I understand why colleagues who depend on team coverage feel inconvenienced. This shows how fragile workplace goodwill is when informal rules replace transparent, fair scheduling practices.

Here’s how the community might see it:

“You planned around an approved request and repeatedly covered holidays — choosing your family plans after years of sacrifice seems fair.”

“I get wanting to support a new parent, but rescinding an approved vacation without policy transparency is a problem.”

“You could’ve tried one more appeal or a compromise; quitting right before Thanksgiving will leave your team scrambling.”

Reactions are split between supporting the OP’s long history of covering holidays and wanting managers to handle new parents with empathy — all while calling for clearer, fairer scheduling rules.

🌱 Final Thoughts

Long-term generosity at work shouldn’t mean you have to sacrifice every meaningful family moment. The OP honored a promise to herself and her family after years of putting others first.

At the same time, workplaces need transparent holiday policies so goodwill and last-minute discretion don’t force hard personal choices.

What do you think?
Would you have stayed and tried to negotiate, or walked away to protect plans you’d already made? Share your thoughts below 👇