AITA for being cut off, blocked, and left wondering if my fiancé abandoned our baby and household after a gambling relapse?

My fiancé stopped talking to me for months after a gambling relapse, blocked me just before our daughter’s first birthday, and now I don’t know if the mortgage will be paid, where our cats are, or whether our family still exists — I need advice and clarity.

We bought a house together a few years ago but only his name is on the title because most of the down payment came from his RRSP; I paid moving costs and furnished the house so I contributed heavily too. We had our daughter last November — a planned pregnancy he said he wanted — and during my pregnancy he suddenly started gambling, something he’d never done before. After he blew a few paycheques, I convinced him to let me control the account to keep bills paid. When our baby was four weeks old he said he had the flu and stayed at his parents’ house for a month to “avoid infecting the baby.”

I thought we were building a life — but after months of silence, secret gambling, and promises of therapy, he blocked me and cut me off right before our daughter’s first birthday, leaving me with nowhere to turn and no idea if our home or pets are safe.

After that month he returned and claimed an overwhelming work project and stress. He began sleeping during the day, ignoring me and the baby, and HR even performed a wellness check when he stopped logging on. When I tried to talk about finances and our child, he grew distant, insisted on therapy, and demanded his bank card back — then locked me out of the account and resumed gambling. I left for a short time to my parents’ house after a major argument, but he continued to respond with profanity and silence. When I pressed for help, he said he was depressed and would seek therapy, but communication remained sporadic.

"He told me he was depressed and that I couldn't come home until he talked to a therapist."

In September he asked me for money because the mortgage was behind; I sent it so the house wouldn't be lost. He thanked me and said I could come home soon, but then communication vanished again. Right before our daughter’s first birthday he blocked my number and Facebook. I have been begging for answers and getting nothing. His parents gave him money to cover back mortgage payments but claim he won't talk to them either.

"Just before our daughter's first birthday, he blocked my number and blocked me on Facebook."

I’m now staying in my brother’s basement, unsure whether we are still a family. I own most of the furniture and worry about foreclosure or repossession; I don’t know if our four cats are safe in the house. I’ve tried his parents, but they say they can’t get him to talk. I feel like I’ve lost everything — my home, my partner, and stability for our baby — and I don’t know what to do next.

🏠 The Aftermath

Currently I’m out of the house, staying with family, and cut off from my partner. He has taken back control of his bank account, the mortgage was reportedly brought current with money from his parents, and he has blocked me from all contact. I don’t know whether the house will remain secure long-term or whether my possessions and pets are being cared for.

From my vantage: I’ve lost access to my home, my possessions, and meaningful communication with my child’s father. From his parents’ vantage: they’ve given money but still can’t get him to explain his behaviour. The baby is with him, but I’m left uncertain about custody, safety, and how to legally protect my interests and the child’s wellbeing.

Consequences include emotional distress, potential legal fights over property and custody, and urgent practical needs: documentation, financial protection, and ensuring the child and pets are safe.

"I have no idea if my beloved cats are okay or if the mortgage company will repossess our things."

The uncertainty is tearing me apart — I’m scrambling for legal advice, emotional support, and any route that will give me clarity about my daughter and our home.

💭 Emotional Reflection

This story combines potential addiction, mental health struggles, and financial risk. If he is relapsing into gambling and withdrawing from responsibilities, his behaviour is dangerous for a family. At the same time, sudden silence and blocking without explanation is emotionally abusive and leaves you vulnerable — especially with a newborn and shared property.

Practical steps matter now: document everything (messages, bank transfers, mortgage status), contact a family lawyer or legal aid to understand your rights regarding the house and custody, and reach out to local social services if you fear for the baby or pets. Emotionally, prioritize safe housing and support — you’re not overreacting to fear and uncertainty.

There’s also nuance: mental health crises can make people withdraw, but withdrawing without care or communication when a child is involved is unacceptable. You can be compassionate about depression while still demanding accountability and safety for your child and yourself.

Here’s how the community might see it:

“Get a lawyer and confirm the mortgage status — document everything and protect your legal rights now.”

“His behaviour is emotionally abusive and irresponsible. Don’t wait to secure custody or find out if the baby and pets are safe.”

“Reach out to his employer/HR again, your local shelters, and family services — you need immediate practical and legal help.”

Readers will likely prioritize immediate safety, legal protection, and securing clarity over long-term reconciliation until trust and responsibility are restored.

🌱 Final Thoughts

You’re facing a terrifying mix of silence, financial risk, and uncertainty about your child’s wellbeing. Focus first on concrete protections: legal advice, documentation of finances and communications, and confirming where the baby and pets are. Reach out to trusted family, local domestic/child services, and a lawyer or legal aid clinic — the goal is clarity and safety, not confrontation.

Emotionally, acknowledge that you deserve answers and support. His possible addiction or depression is not your responsibility to fix alone, and his shutting you out while a child is involved is unacceptable. Prioritize your child’s safety and your housing stability before considering reconciliation.

What do you think?
If you were in my shoes, what would be the first urgent step you'd take to protect the baby, the pets, and your financial interests? Share your advice below 👇