AITA for getting upset when my boyfriend refused to buy me pads while I was in pain?

When I unexpectedly got my period on my way home from work, I asked my boyfriend—already headed to the store—to pick up pads. He flat-out refused, and the situation escalated into a fight that left me questioning our relationship.

My boyfriend (28M) and I (25F) have been together over three years. Yesterday, we were planning to host people, and since he gets off work earlier and the supermarket is three minutes away, he agreed to grab pasta on his way home. Just as I was leaving work, my period unexpectedly started. I texted him asking if he could also grab pads for me. His immediate response: “I’m not doing that.” I reminded him that he was already going to the store and explained that I needed them. He kept repeating that he wasn’t doing it, no matter how plainly I asked. I ended up having to stop myself, in pain, using wads of toilet paper as a makeshift fix, just to buy them alone.

I asked my boyfriend for a simple favor while I was hurting, and instead of helping, he told me he “wasn’t doing that,” leaving me to struggle alone and wondering why a 28-year-old is embarrassed to buy pads.

This wasn’t the first time I’d ever asked him for pads — he’d gotten them once before with no problem. But that was back when we lived with his mother, who handled everything for him, and looking back, it feels like she probably bought them, not him. His refusal this time wasn’t just about buying a product; it was the way he dismissed me while knowing I was in pain. It made me feel unsupported, ignored, and honestly, embarrassed for him.

“I said I’m not doing that but you keep asking.”

After shutting me down repeatedly, he suddenly decided we shouldn’t have people over anymore, which only made me feel worse. I ended up dragging myself to the store, bleeding and cramping, because he refused to help me with a simple, reasonable request. I kept thinking how easy it would’ve been for him to say, “I’m uncomfortable, but I’ll try,” or at least communicate respectfully. Instead, he acted annoyed and dismissive.

“I’m not doing that.”

Now I’m left wondering whether this is immaturity, embarrassment, or just a lack of empathy. It shouldn’t be humiliating for a grown man to buy pads, especially for his partner. And yet he made it a point to refuse, knowing exactly how much it would inconvenience me.

🏠 The Aftermath

After grabbing the pads myself, alone and hurting, I came home feeling unsupported and honestly shocked by his reaction. The evening plans were ruined, and the emotional distance between us only grew.

He didn’t apologize, and instead acted like the situation was blown out of proportion, even though the entire conflict was caused by his refusal to help with a simple, necessary request.

Now I’m questioning what this means for our future—whether he’s truly a partner I can rely on in moments that actually matter.

“It’s not what you say, it’s how you say it—and he said it in the worst way.”

I’m frustrated, disappointed, and trying to figure out why a 28-year-old man is embarrassed by a box of pads but not by leaving his girlfriend in pain to buy them alone.

💭 Emotional Reflection

This wasn’t about pads—it was about respect, care, and maturity. When someone refuses to help you in a moment of real discomfort, it reveals a lot about how dependable they truly are.

Buying menstrual products isn’t embarrassing. Dismissing your partner’s needs is. His reaction showed more about his upbringing and his discomfort than anything wrong with my request.

Reasonable partners communicate, adapt, and support each other. Being in a long-term relationship means sometimes doing small, simple things that make the other person’s life easier—especially when they’re hurting.

Here’s how the community might see it:

“If a grown man can’t buy pads, he’s not ready for an adult relationship.”

“You weren’t asking for a luxury—you were asking for a basic medical need.”

“Refusing to help your partner in pain is a huge red flag.”

Reactions would likely focus on his immaturity, the lack of empathy, and the unequal emotional labor in the relationship.

🌱 Final Thoughts

A relationship is built on small gestures of care—and this one mattered. His refusal didn’t just leave you scrambling; it left you questioning whether he respects you.

If he’s embarrassed by pads at 28, the bigger concern is whether he’ll ever step up when life throws something harder your way.

What do you think?
Would you see this as immaturity, disrespect, or a sign of deeper issues? Share your thoughts below 👇