AITA for packing up and leaving immediately after discovering my boyfriend of 7 years was living a double life?

I found out my boyfriend has been cheating, lying to everyone about our relationship status, and even using our photos on Tinder — so I started packing before he even landed back home.

I’m 27 and have been with my boyfriend, 29, for seven years. He’s been traveling to our home state once a month this year, supposedly to visit his elderly grandparents. It sounded sweet and harmless — until this morning. A mutual friend sent me a screenshot of his Snapchat location. He was at his parents’ house, but so was a girl I didn’t recognize. His parents weren’t home, and when I tried calling him, he didn’t pick up. Then his location disappeared entirely. That same friend told me my boyfriend had been telling everyone back home that we broke up four months ago and asked him to keep quiet about it. The reason? He walked in on my boyfriend hooking up with this same girl earlier that morning.

He told everyone we were broken up, used our photos on Tinder, and celebrated our 7-year anniversary — all while cheating behind my back.

Still reeling, I reached out to an old friend. Her first reaction? “Wait… why is he on Tinder?” She sent me screenshots of his profile — photos I took of him, including one where he cropped out my face with the caption “this could be you.” Meanwhile, his family thinks he’s moving home after our lease ends since, according to him, we broke up months ago. None of this made sense, especially since we literally went to Italy a month ago celebrating our anniversary. Suddenly our whole apartment felt like a stage set.

"We even went to Italy a month ago for our 7-year anniversary — and he was cheating the whole time."

He texted me that he’s on his flight back and will arrive in five hours. He can find his own way home, because I won’t be there. My best friend is helping me pack. I’m taking our dog, leaving no trace of myself, and moving in with my friend for now. Our finances are mostly separate, so he can keep the joint account. I emailed the leasing office about ending the lease and submitted the domestic partnership termination paperwork. HR is removing him from my health insurance.

"Everything suddenly feels like a lie — I can't stay here another minute."

The only thing I’m unsure about is what to do with our photo albums. They’re full of memories I can’t bear to keep but don’t want him to have, either. I feel numb, shocked, and terrified I’m forgetting something important as I prepare to disappear from his life completely.

🏠 The Aftermath

While he’s still in the air, I’m already gone. My friend and I packed everything I own, grabbed the dog, and left the apartment looking like I never existed in it.

The logistics are in motion: ending the lease, dissolving our domestic partnership, cutting him off my insurance, and removing any shared obligations. It’s the emotional part that’s harder — trying to understand how someone can build a life with you while building another one behind your back.

As for the photo albums, I’m torn. Keeping them feels painful, but handing them over feels like rewarding someone who weaponized our memories for dating apps.

"I don’t owe him closure. He chose to end this relationship long before I knew it was over."

Leaving quietly isn’t about revenge — it’s about protecting myself after realizing how deeply he betrayed my trust.

💭 Emotional Reflection

This isn’t just a breakup — it’s the collapse of a reality I thought we shared. The betrayal was layered: cheating, lying, rewriting our history, and publicly presenting himself as single while keeping me in the dark.

Leaving now isn’t impulsive; it’s self-protection. When someone hides an entire life from you, you don’t owe them a gentle exit. You owe yourself safety, clarity, and a chance to heal away from their manipulation.

Reasonable people may differ on the logistics — but not on the fact that disappearing from a relationship that wasn’t real anymore is sometimes the only sane option.

Here’s how the community might see it:

“You’re not ghosting him — he ghosted *you* months ago. You’re just catching up.”

“He built a double life. Leaving with your dignity intact is the smartest move.”

“Donate the photo albums or leave them with a friend. You don’t owe him the privilege of rewriting your memories.”

Most reactions would emphasize self-protection, practical planning, and the need for distance from someone who has repeatedly chosen deceit over honesty.

🌱 Final Thoughts

You’re doing the hardest part already — choosing yourself after discovering someone else never chose you in return. Walking away is not weakness; it’s survival.

Tie up the legal and financial loose ends, secure your belongings, and give yourself time to grieve the relationship you *thought* you had. Heal first — sort the photos later.

What do you think?
Is disappearing the healthiest way forward after a betrayal this deep, or should closure be part of the process? Share your thoughts below 👇