AITA for continuing to see my boyfriend after my family warned me he has a bad reputation?

I met a guy, we’ve been together for almost a month, and everything feels great — but my family and aunts say he has a history of lying and womanizing. He denies it, and now I’m stuck between my relationship and my family’s warnings.

We’ve been officially dating for nearly a month and things have gone really well — we like each other, he treats me well, and I haven’t noticed red flags. I met his family a week ago and they liked me, but I later discovered we’re distantly related: he’s connected to my family through my uncle’s wife and also works with another aunt. I didn’t know this beforehand; our meeting was by chance.

I’m in a new relationship that feels right, but my aunts and my wider family warn he’s disreputable and has a history of lying and womanising — he denies it, and now I don’t know who to trust.

After meeting him, both of my aunts told me privately that he has a bad reputation — that he lies and has a history of womanising. My mother asked around as well and those I checked with had little positive to say. The family consensus hardened quickly: they don’t trust him and think I should break up. My boyfriend, meanwhile, believes he has a good rapport with my aunts and denies all allegations when I brought them up with him.

"They keep telling me he has a history of lying and womanizing — but he denies everything."

The family pressure has become intense: relatives and neighbours echoed the same warnings, and my family now largely hates him and urges me to end things. I’m torn — we get along exceptionally well, have genuine feelings, and I haven’t personally seen the behaviour they describe. But it feels foolish to ignore a chorus of concerned people who say they know his past.

"Everyone I asked had something negative to say — I don’t know who to trust."

I’ve tried talking to him about the family’s concerns; he denies the accusations and is confused by the backlash. Now I’m caught between trusting my own experience with him and listening to a lot of people I trust who say he’s not a good match. I don’t want to break something that seems promising, but I also don’t want to ignore red flags if they’re real.

🏠 The Aftermath

Right now the relationship is under strain from outside pressure. My family disfavors him strongly and have asked me to break up; he’s denying the claims and expects our relationship to continue. That tension is creating stress between me and my relatives and putting strain on the early stages of our relationship.

For me: emotional confusion and anxiety about who to believe. For him: frustration and bewilderment at being judged by people he barely knows. For my family: worry and the feeling they’re protecting me from a poor decision.

If I stay with him, I risk alienating family and potentially overlooking problematic behaviour. If I break things off because of the warnings, I may regret ending something that felt genuine. The situation has forced me into an impossible choice while the relationship is still fragile.

"I’m torn: he treats me well, but a lot of people I trust say not to be with him."

At the moment there’s no clear resolution — only pressure, conversations, and the need for time and evidence to see whether his actions match his words.

💭 Emotional Reflection

This is a classic clash between personal experience and community knowledge. Your feelings and day-to-day interactions with someone are important evidence, but so are consistent warnings from trusted people who might know the person’s history. The sensible middle path is careful skepticism: give the relationship time while paying attention to concrete behaviour and not ignoring reports from people you trust.

You’re not obligated to break up purely because others say so, but neither should you dismiss repeated, specific concerns without checking them. Open communication, gentle boundaries, and asking for concrete examples from your family might help — and watch for patterns rather than isolated explanations.

Reasonable readers will split: some will advise trusting your gut and giving the relationship a chance, others will say family warnings are a serious signal that shouldn’t be ignored — especially early on when the relationship is still forming.

Here’s how the community might see it:

“If multiple family members and neighbours independently flag the same issues, take it seriously and watch for patterns.”

“You know him better than anyone else right now — but don’t ignore consistent warnings from people who care about you.”

“Set boundaries: keep seeing him but don’t make big commitments until concerns are resolved.”

Reactions will center on balancing personal experience with the seriousness of repeated warnings — the consensus often being to proceed cautiously and prioritize clear, observable behaviour over rumor.

🌱 Final Thoughts

You don’t have to choose immediately, but you do need a plan: keep seeing him if you want, but look for transparency, accountability, and consistent actions that match his words. Ask your family for specifics and weigh any concrete evidence they provide against your own experience.

If warning signs appear — dishonesty, disrespect, or behaviour that matches what your family described — take those seriously and step back. If he consistently shows respect, honesty, and openness, that will help rebuild trust with your relatives over time.

What would you do?
Would you trust your own experience with someone new, or heed repeated warnings from family and acquaintances? Share your thoughts below 👇