AITA for refusing to pay for my SIL’s family to join our Spring Break trip?

My wife and I take two special trips a year with our three kids, and they're the highlight of our family life. But when my SIL hinted she wanted us to cover her family's costs after losing income, everything erupted.

Twice a year, my wife, our three kids, and I take trips—one domestic during Spring Break and one international in the summer. We live frugally most of the year so these moments can feel special, funded entirely by passive income that’s legally mine alone. After last summer’s trip, my SIL announced she and her husband planned to join us for both 2025 vacations with their two kids. My wife didn’t push back, even though I’ve had long-standing issues with her sister. Eventually she convinced me to tolerate it since they’d stay in separate accommodations and I wouldn’t have to spend much time with them. But when my BIL resigned after a return-to-office mandate and they suddenly couldn’t afford the trip, things shifted. During a recent outing, my MIL suggested we pay for SIL’s whole family, and my wife agreed on the spot.

I agreed to tolerate my SIL on this trip only because she’d pay her own way and stay separate—now my wife wants me to fund the whole thing, and I’m the bad guy for saying absolutely not.

My SIL had originally agreed she and her family would pay for their own stay. That was the only reason I accepted the idea despite not getting along with her. When their finances collapsed after my BIL quit his job, the expectation suddenly shifted to us footing the entire bill. My MIL pushed my wife to offer, and she did—without talking to me first. The idea that I should double the cost of an already expensive trip just to accommodate someone I don’t enjoy being around didn’t sit right with me at all.

"You want me to pay for the terrible experience of doing this trip with your sister? No, I will not do it under any circumstances."

I made it clear that this family trip is a “two yes, one no” decision—and I am firmly a no. My wife thinks I should “take one for the team,” but I refuse to pay for the privilege of being around someone who stresses me out. I even told her I would happily take their kids alone and let them stay with us, but not the adults. That compromise wasn’t enough for my wife, who feels I’m being unfair. To me, it feels like I’m being cornered into paying for something I never agreed to.

"This is a two 'yes' and one 'no' situation, and I'm a no."

Right now, either I double the trip’s cost or let them stay with us—exactly what I was trying to avoid. The whole point of these trips is spending quality time with my wife and kids, not hosting extended family who drain the joy out of the experience for me.

🏠 The Aftermath

My refusal has created tension between my wife and me. She’s upset that I won’t pay, and I’m frustrated that she offered without discussing it.

Her family sees this as me being stubborn, while I see it as respecting boundaries we already agreed on—especially the part where SIL wouldn’t rely on us financially.

Now we’re stuck in a standoff: either we fund an expensive trip for four extra people, or SIL’s family doesn’t come at all.

"A family vacation turned into a financial guilt trip."

I still feel bad for the kids—they were excited—but I also feel blindsided. What was supposed to be quality time with my immediate family has become a negotiation over someone else’s expectations.

💭 Emotional Reflection

This isn’t just about money—it’s about boundaries, expectations, and honoring agreements. I didn’t object to them coming when they were paying their own way, but being asked to fund a trip for people I don’t get along with feels like an overstep.

My wife sees generosity; I see a situation where I’m expected to bankroll someone else’s disappointment. Both views come from a place of caring, but the practical impact lands heavily on me.

Reasonable people can disagree: Is helping family during hardship the right thing to do, or is it unfair to pressure someone into funding a luxury vacation?

Here’s how the community might see it:

“Trips like this require mutual agreement. If one partner says no, that should be respected.”

“It’s generous to offer, but no one is obligated to fund someone else’s vacation—especially if they make the trip stressful.”

“Your wife offering without asking you first is where things went sideways. Communication matters.”

Reactions range from supporting firm boundaries to urging compassion, but most agree the decision shouldn’t fall on one person’s shoulders alone.

🌱 Final Thoughts

Family generosity is admirable, but not when it erases boundaries or forces someone into paying for an experience they don’t want. Vacations are supposed to bring joy, not resentment.

In the end, this is a clash between financial pressure, in-law dynamics, and a couple struggling to stay on the same page.

What do you think?
Would you have paid, refused, or tried a different compromise? Share your thoughts below 👇