AITA for refusing to reconcile with my dad after he ambushed me with his wife and left me stranded at their house?

I tried to follow my mom’s demand to “fix things” with my dad, but instead I was ambushed, talked over, dismissed, and then abandoned. Now I’m staying at a friend’s house, confused, angry, and wondering what any of this means for my family relationships.

After my last post, my mom forced me to see my dad in person to “reconcile.” She threatened to take away things I need, including my phone, so I didn’t have a choice. I mentally prepared myself to calmly explain why I wanted distance: years of neglect, broken promises, and harassment from his side of the family. But when we got to his house, things immediately felt wrong. My mom came inside, but my dad told me to wait in the dining room. I thought it would be just the three of us—me, my mom, and my dad. Instead, his wife (I’ll call her Becca) and her mom were already sitting there, both glaring at me like I’d personally offended them. I sat quietly, on my phone, trying to ignore their stares while waiting for my dad.

I came prepared to explain my hurt. Instead, they ambushed me, dismissed everything I said, and told me my mom had left me there until Monday.

When my dad finally came in, I immediately asked where my mom was. He told me she had left. No explanation. No warning. Just gone. Then he launched into a speech about how sorry he was that I “felt hurt,” but quickly turned it into excuses about Becca’s mom needing the room I used to stay in. This woman is 53, constantly quits or gets fired, and acts younger than me. She isn’t some helpless grandmother. But they framed the whole thing as me being “dramatic” for being upset. Every time I brought up something my dad had done that hurt me, they denied it or minimized it. When I mentioned the harassment I received from his family, Becca actually snorted, rolled her eyes, and claimed I was “being dramatic” and that the harassment “wasn’t even directed at me.”

"It was basically: 'Sorry you’re upset, but you’re the problem for having emotions.'"

After going in circles with them, I finally said I wasn’t reconciling. I told them I’d only speak to them if absolutely necessary, but I wasn’t rebuilding a relationship. That’s when they dropped the worst part: my mom wasn’t coming back until Monday. I felt my stomach drop. I went outside immediately, refusing to stay in that house any longer. I called and texted my mom for an hour straight—nothing.

"I was stranded at my dad’s house, after a forced confrontation, and my mom just… left."

Eventually, I walked to a nearby plaza and asked a friend if she could pick me up. She did. Her mom said I could stay the weekend as long as I go to church with them Sunday. I let my mom know where I was staying, but she still hasn’t responded. I think she turned off her phone. I’m angry, numb, and completely confused. I don’t know what happens next, but right now I just needed to be somewhere safe.

🏠 The Aftermath

Right now, I’m staying with my friend, processing what happened. My dad and his household treated the whole “reconciliation” like an intervention—except I was the problem in their eyes. My mom abandoning me there without warning added another layer of hurt I didn’t expect.

I don’t feel safe or respected with my dad, his wife, or her mother. And now I’m questioning how much I can trust my own mom, who forced me into the situation and then disappeared when I needed her most.

I’m overwhelmed, exhausted, and emotionally drained, but I’m also proud that I stood my ground and didn’t let them bully me into pretending everything was fine.

"I’m done being told my feelings are ‘dramatic’ simply because they’re inconvenient."

I don’t know what the next few days will look like, but I know I’m not letting myself be ambushed or dismissed again. I’ll update if anything major happens, but for now I’m just trying to breathe.

💭 Emotional Reflection

This wasn’t a conversation—it was a setup. A coordinated attempt to make you feel guilty for having boundaries and for finally speaking up about years of mistreatment. Your feelings weren’t too big; their empathy was too small.

Your mom forcing you into that situation and then abandoning you is deeply damaging. Even if she thought she was “helping,” she put you in harm’s way emotionally and physically. That’s not support—that’s pressure to comply.

It makes sense that you feel numb, angry, confused, or all three. You were betrayed by multiple adults who should have protected you, not cornered you. What you did—removing yourself, seeking safety, and staying firm—was brave and necessary.

Here’s how the community might see it:

“Your dad ambushed you, your mom abandoned you, and you protected yourself. That’s not dramatic—it’s survival.”

“Becca dismissing harassment and calling you dramatic is classic manipulation. You don’t owe them a relationship.”

“Your friend’s family treated you better in one night than your own did all day. Stick with the people who actually care.”

Most readers will likely agree: you did the right thing by leaving and setting boundaries with people who refuse to respect you.

🌱 Final Thoughts

Sometimes the people who demand reconciliation are the ones least willing to take accountability. You weren’t dramatic—you were honest. And honesty scares people who prefer comfort over responsibility.

Take the time you need. Stay somewhere safe. Lean on the people who show you care, not the ones who call your feelings inconvenient.

What do you think?
Have you ever been pressured into “reconciling” with someone who refused to listen? Share your thoughts below 👇