AITA for refusing to babysit my neighbor’s kids every afternoon and telling her she was entitled?

I helped a neighbor in an emergency by watching her 3- and 5-year-old for six chaotic hours — and now she expects me to become her afternoon childcare. When I said no, she called me selfish.

I’m new to the area and joined a local mommy-and-me group. I have a 9-week-old and stay home full-time. One of the moms in the group — also my neighbor — asked me last week in a panic if I could watch her 3- and 5-year-old for an emergency. She looked desperate, so I agreed. Those six hours were exhausting: my newborn was fussy, her kids were wild, and it was genuinely overwhelming. I figured it was a one-time thing and was relieved when she picked them up.

I told her I wasn’t a babysitter and needed to focus on my newborn — she told me I was selfish and acted like I owed her childcare because I’m a SAHM.

Today she came back and told me she needed me to watch her kids every afternoon. I said no — I’m not a babysitter, and my husband works from home and needs a quiet house. She insisted it “wasn’t a lot” and acted like being a SAHM meant I owed her childcare. I told her it felt like she was entitled to my time just because I’m home with my baby. She called me selfish. I stood firm. I told her I’m a new mom, my daughter is my priority, and I won’t take on responsibilities that take away from caring for her or supporting my husband.

"It may not be a lot to you, but it is a lot to me."

She got upset, and later she took it to the group chat, trying to paint me as selfish. But another mom immediately asked why she thought SAHMs were her babysitting staff. Then another mom reminded her she’d tried to pull the same thing with her — and had already been told that the group is not free childcare. She kept doubling down until the group’s moderator told her it might be best to find another mom group entirely.

"SAHM moms in the group are not your babysitters."

Now she’s angry, blocked me, and seems to have been quietly removed from the group. I’m relieved the others saw her behavior clearly, but part of me wonders if I was too blunt — even though I don’t regret saying no.

🏠 The Aftermath

The immediate fallout is that my neighbor is furious and has tried to publicly shame me. Instead, the group corrected her and supported me. She appears to be on her way out of the group entirely, creating distance between us and removing the pressure she was placing on me.

At home, things are calmer. I’m spending time with my newborn the way I want to, my husband can work in peace, and I feel less anxious now that I’ve set a boundary. The only real tension is from my neighbor, who seems embarrassed and angry that her attempt to guilt me failed.

The bigger consequence is clarity: she expected unpaid childcare and felt entitled to my time because I’m a SAHM. The group’s rejection of her behavior has highlighted that her expectations were unreasonable — not my refusal.

"They reminded her the SAHM moms are not her babysitters."

I feel validated, but still shaken that she thought it was appropriate to demand so much from someone she barely knows — and then publicly lash out when she didn’t get it.

💭 Emotional Reflection

This situation highlights a common tension: some people assume SAHMs have endless time and energy, when in reality caring for a newborn is overwhelming and physically draining. Your neighbor saw your availability as a resource she was entitled to use, rather than a personal choice you make for your own child.

Setting boundaries — especially early in motherhood — is important and healthy. Her anger wasn’t about friendship; it was about losing unpaid labor she expected from you. Her reaction in the group chat further proved that she wasn’t looking for mutual support, only help on her terms.

Your delivery was honest, not cruel. You protected your peace, your baby’s routine, and your husband’s work environment. That’s reasonable and necessary, even if someone else labels it “selfish.”

Here’s how the community might see it:

“SAHM doesn’t mean 24/7 free childcare. You set a good boundary.”

“Her entitlement was the problem, not your no. Six hours was already generous.”

“The group backing you proves she’s pulled this before — you weren’t wrong at all.”

Most would say your refusal was justified and your neighbor crossed multiple boundaries, both practically and socially.

🌱 Final Thoughts

Supporting other moms is wonderful — but not when it becomes an expectation or obligation. You gave her emergency help once, which was kind. That didn’t make you her built-in babysitter.

Your neighbor’s entitlement created conflict, not your boundary. And the group’s response shows you weren’t the one out of line.

What do you think?
Would you have said no upfront, or helped once and then drawn the line later? Share your thoughts below 👇