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AITA for fixing major home and truck issues secretly after my boyfriend dismissed my skills?

Living together for four months, I keep fixing things around the house and truck myself because my boyfriend refuses help and dismisses my abilities—even when I step in to solve urgent problems he struggles with.

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I’ve been with my boyfriend two years, living together for four months. He often tries to fix things solo and refuses my help, then criticizes me when I step in. I fixed the furnace and my truck plug secretly because he dismissed or delayed solutions, but now I’m tired of sneaking around just to avoid conflict or feeling belittled.

We ran out of fuel for heat in the deep north, and while my boyfriend went into the basement to light the furnace, he struggled and called a friend for help rather than using available tools or accepting my offer. I quietly grabbed a socket and bled the fuel line carefully until ignition succeeded, but he accused me of doing it wrong and stormed off frustrated.

"I just keep doing what I’m doing and after a couple minutes, I close the valve, press the button and she fires up."

Another time, my truck’s pan heater plug broke in extreme cold. He said he’d handle it but gave up and told me to book a mechanic. I woke early on Christmas Eve, got parts from the hardware store, and fixed it in 20 minutes outside. When I told him, he responded with disdain, acting like he wanted to do it but “didn’t have wire snippers,” even though I had the right tools.

"Oh. Good. I was going to do that. I just didn’t have wire snippers."

This pattern repeats with multiple home repairs—bathroom fan, garage door, lawn mower, eavestroughs, gate—where he refuses help, tries solo, then throws tantrums. I’ve tried being collaborative, but it always gets personal, and I end up feeling belittled and resentful. I’m done pretending to be helpless or sneaking around to avoid hurting his feelings or “masculinity.” I’m ready to let it go.

🏠 The Aftermath

Currently, I continue to secretly fix critical issues because waiting on him or mechanics isn't feasible in brutal -40c winters and long booking delays. Communication about feelings has been ongoing but exhausting.

His dismissive responses hurt my confidence and dampen holiday moods, yet I appreciate his willingness despite the way he reacts. Our attempts to work together have failed, leaving unresolved resentment and a strained dynamic.

This ongoing clash over help, pride, and respect makes it hard to envision a peaceful partnership if he can’t embrace my skills or work with me instead of against me.