AITA for getting mad at a girl for not revealing she was trans?

AITA for being upset after finding out my Tinder date was trans after sexting for weeks?

I met a girl on Tinder and we instantly had an amazing connection. We chatted non-stop for 2 weeks about everything: traumas, hopes, dreams, childhood stories, and secrets. We were falling hard for each other and anxious to meet IRL. We had also been sexting intensively, assuming we'd have sex immediately when we met.

On our first date, everything went as imagined, until we started making out and I noticed she had a penis. I asked, "So, you're trans?" She explained she didn't tell me earlier because she feared it would ruin things and assumed I wouldn't mind since I am bisexual.

My reaction: I was floored. Despite being bisexual, I am not sexually attracted to trans women. I respectfully distanced myself and went home to process my feelings. I felt deceived because of our prior sexting and the expectation of intimacy.

I texted her thanking her for the date but explained I was disappointed and it wasn't going to work out. She responded angrily, called me irrational and transphobic. I felt crushed and confused by how things unfolded.

"I felt deceived after weeks of building trust and intimacy."

Despite my bisexuality, this was not something I could accept sexually. The experience left me emotionally exhausted and questioning boundaries in dating, honesty, and communication.

"I am bisexual but not sexually attracted to trans women."

🏠 The Aftermath

I am still processing my feelings about the date and the intense connection we had before meeting. The experience highlighted the importance of transparency, especially regarding sexual preferences and boundaries, to prevent misunderstandings and emotional hurt.

"Even strong connections can be undermined by withheld information about boundaries and expectations."

I’m sharing this to reflect on the situation, and to explore whether my reaction was reasonable. The entire experience was emotionally intense and complicated by prior sexting and assumptions about intimacy.

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