AITA for blocking my mom after she called me 50+ times because I wouldn’t share my friend’s name?
What started as a simple update about going out turned into nonstop calls, a boundary violation, and a month-long silent treatment from my mom.
I’m 21 and live on campus. My mom and I agreed I would tell her when I go out and where I’m going. One night I told her I’d be spending time with a friend. She started pressing for more details—how long, who would be there, the setting. I answered everything calmly, wanting to leave without conflict. Then she asked for my friend’s name. I didn’t feel comfortable sharing, knowing her history of judging people based on names. When I didn’t answer, she began calling repeatedly—over 50 times. I told her I was busy and would talk later, but the calls continued until I finally blocked her.
I set a boundary, she pushed harder—and now she’s refusing to speak to me unless I apologize.
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Afterward, I didn’t call back right away because I felt hurt and disrespected. She ignored my boundary and kept calling even after I said I’d talk later. For a month, she’s been giving me the silent treatment—refusing to speak directly, only communicating through my dad. She even ignored my birthday except for leaving a gift in my room. She told my dad she wants an apology from me first.
"She called over 50 times after I said I was busy."
I get that she worries about me. But it feels less like concern and more like control. I wasn’t comfortable sharing my friend’s name because she tends to make judgments based on names alone. Blocking her was the only way to get her to stop calling. I didn’t intend to punish her—I just needed peace.
"It felt like control, not safety."
Now she wants an apology, but I don’t understand why I should apologize for enforcing a boundary I stated clearly. It’s confusing and exhausting. I’m just trying to live independently without being micromanaged.
🏠 The Aftermath
We’re still not speaking directly. My dad acts as a middleman, which makes everything feel colder. Her silent treatment hasn’t softened, even though the conflict started over a simple boundary.
I’m trying to stay respectful without letting my independence be undermined. I want peace—not control or guilt.
Whether we reconcile soon depends on whether she can accept that I’m an adult making my own choices.
"Boundaries shouldn’t be punished with silence."
I’m learning that independence sometimes comes with emotional backlash from the people who love us most.
💭 Emotional Reflection
This situation highlights the tension between independence and parental worry. Both feelings can coexist—but control disguised as concern can cross a line.
Boundaries are healthy. Respecting them is necessary for trust. Ignoring them risks damaging the relationship more than protecting it.
With time and communication, things could improve, but it shouldn’t require surrendering autonomy.
Here’s how the community might see it:
“Your mom calling 50 times wasn’t worry—it was panic mixed with control.”
“Blocking someone after repeated calls is a boundary, not cruelty.”
“She wants the apology because she’s used to being in control.”
The responses reflect boundaries, emotional maturity, and the difficulty of navigating overprotectiveness in adulthood.
🌱 Final Thoughts
Growing up includes taking ownership of your decisions—and also your boundaries. Parents don’t always adjust easily.
You didn’t do anything wrong by protecting your peace. The real work now is finding healthier communication moving forward.
What do you think?
Would you have blocked the calls too—or handled it differently? Share below 👇
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