AITA for refusing to help my parents financially after they supported my sister but not me?
My parents spoiled my younger sister and denied me basic support, and now that they’re out of money, they expect me to help them. I’m not sure why I should.
Growing up, my parents treated my sister and me completely differently. They spent freely on her—money anytime she wanted something, and even when she didn’t ask. With me, everything was questioned. I had to write explanations to justify simple requests, and most were denied. They lectured me about working hard and not expecting anything from them. At 16, they told me they would not help with college at all and refused to even sign the paperwork needed to see if I qualified for assistance. Meanwhile, they believed my sister deserved full support and paid for everything she needed, including a new car and college expenses.
I said no when they asked me for money because they never supported me—and now they’re calling me unfair.
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Now that my parents have run out of money—mostly because of how much they spent supporting my sister—they’ve suddenly turned to me for help. They didn’t explain much at first, just asked repeatedly. I said no. I reminded them that they refused to help me with even basic forms and told me I would have to figure everything out alone. If they always helped my sister, then it makes sense that she can help them now.
"They supported her fully. They supported me barely at all."
My sister says I’m being unfair and that because I’m older, I should step up. But I handled everything on my own since I was a teenager, including my education choices. I’m not sure why I’m expected to take responsibility now that the money is gone.
"Where was their fairness when I needed help?"
I don’t hate them. I’m just tired of being expected to carry the burden when I was never given the same support. Saying no feels like the first time I’ve had any control in this dynamic.
🏠 The Aftermath
My parents are upset, and my sister says I’m being selfish. But the unequal treatment over the years is impossible to ignore. This is the natural result of choices they made long before I said no.
I’m continuing to live independently without being manipulated into guilt or responsibility.
They may eventually understand the consequences of their favoritism—but right now, they’re blaming me instead.
"You can’t neglect one child and expect loyalty later."
I’m learning to protect my peace, even when it means disappointing people who once disappointed me.
💭 Emotional Reflection
This situation reflects long-term inequality—not a single disagreement. Favoritism has consequences, and emotional debt can feel heavier than financial debt.
Supporting a child fully while pressuring the other to “earn everything” can shape the relationship permanently. Boundaries become necessary when expectations turn unfair.
You can care for your family without abandoning yourself. Saying no is not cruelty—it’s survival.
Here’s how the community might see it:
“They neglected you for years—now they want your support?”
“Fairness goes both ways. You’re not a backup wallet.”
“Your boundary is valid. Their expectations aren’t.”
Readers would likely focus on patterns of favoritism, emotional neglect, and the guilt placed on the less-supported sibling.
🌱 Final Thoughts
Sometimes saying no is the only way to break a cycle. It’s not revenge—it’s balance.
You’re not obligated to rescue people who never offered you the same support.
What do you think?
Should they expect help now, or should their choices speak for themselves? Share your thoughts below 👇
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