AITA for calling the cops on my brother after he broke into my yard so his kids could use my pool?

I finally bought my own home with a pool after a decade of hard work, set clear boundaries about not wanting kids in it—and my brother ignored all of that, broke in, and acted like I was the problem when I called the police.

I’m 32M and recently became a first-time homeowner. I live alone, have no kids, and I take a lot of pride in keeping my place clean, calm, and in one piece. My brother (35M) and his wife have three kids—4, 6, and 9—who I love, but they’re honestly a lot. The last time they came over, they broke a lamp, smeared food on my walls, and one of them peed behind a curtain “as a joke.” Their parents barely reacted, which made me realize how differently we view boundaries and supervision in my home.

I worked for years to afford a house with a pool, set clear rules about not having kids in it, and when my brother broke in anyway, I called the cops—now my family says I went too far.

Because of that last chaotic visit, when my brother and sister-in-law asked if they could bring the kids over to swim, I said no—more than once. I offered to host a BBQ but was clear that I wasn’t comfortable being responsible for kids in the pool, especially given how little they actually supervise them. They showed up anyway, kids already in swimsuits, and pushed again. When I repeated that the pool was off-limits, my sister-in-law called me cold and accused me of “punishing the kids” because I’m “bitter and single.” My brother brushed off my concerns and said, “It’s family, not strangers,” like that magically made liability and boundaries disappear.

"I said no—multiple times. The pool was off-limits, and they knew that."

They left furious. The next day, I came home from work and noticed my backyard gate was ajar. When I walked outside, I found my brother, his wife, and their three kids in my pool. No call, no text, no permission. They had literally climbed the gate and let themselves into my yard. When I told them to get out immediately, they laughed it off and said, “Come on, it’s not that deep. They just wanted to swim,” like I was being unreasonable for objecting to people trespassing on my property.

"I walked into my own backyard and found them already in my pool like it was a public park."

At that point, I was done arguing, so I called the police. When the officers arrived, my brother lied and said I’d invited them and just forgotten. Thankfully, I have security cameras, and the footage clearly showed them climbing the gate and entering without permission. No one was arrested, but the police issued an official trespass warning. Now my parents are furious with me for “dragging the police into a family matter” and say I’ve embarrassed them, even though my brother is the one who broke in. I feel like my boundaries were completely stomped on, but part of me still feels guilty now that everything has blown up.

🏠 The Aftermath

After the trespass warning, my brother and sister-in-law are furious and acting like I “overreacted” and tried to criminalize them just for letting their kids swim. They’re ignoring the fact that I said no repeatedly and that they climbed my gate to get into my yard.

My parents have taken their side, focusing more on the embarrassment of having police at “a family member’s house” than on the safety issue of unsupervised kids in a pool or the basic problem of ignoring my consent.

Now there’s a serious rift: my brother and sister-in-law feel victimized, my parents say I went too far, and I’m left feeling like the only one who cares about property rights, liability, and basic respect for boundaries.

"They didn’t just cross a line—they climbed my fence and pretended I was the one out of line."

I’m relieved I stood my ground and that the trespass is on record, but it hurts that my own family is more upset about appearances than about what actually happened.

💭 Emotional Reflection

This isn’t just about kids wanting to swim—it’s about consent, safety, and the idea that “family” doesn’t erase consequences. A pool is a major liability, and being uncomfortable supervising three high-energy kids around water is a valid concern, not cold-heartedness.

Your brother and sister-in-law didn’t just push a boundary; they ignored it completely and then lied to the police about being invited. That shows a level of entitlement that would be concerning even if they were strangers, let alone family.

Reasonable people can debate whether calling the cops was harsh, but the bigger issue is that your clear “no” was treated as negotiable—and then as something they could simply bypass.

Here’s how the community might see it:

“Pools are deadly for kids and a massive liability. They trespassed after a clear no—calling the cops was justified.”

“Your brother literally climbed your gate and lied to the police. That’s not ‘family drama’; that’s blatant disrespect.”

“Your parents are mad about ‘embarrassment,’ but you’re the one whose home and boundaries were violated.”

Most reactions would likely say you were within your rights, emphasizing safety, consent, and the importance of enforcing boundaries even when it upsets family.

🌱 Final Thoughts

Owning a home doesn’t mean your space becomes community property just because you share DNA. You set a reasonable boundary, and it was ignored until law enforcement had to back you up.

It’s painful when protecting yourself creates a rift with family, but sometimes drawing a firm line is the only way to show that “no” actually means no.

What do you think?
Would you have handled it differently, or was involving the police the only way to make your boundaries clear? Share your thoughts below 👇