AITA for refusing to tell my pregnant sister our baby name because she’s stolen one before?
My sister is due a few weeks before me, and after watching her steal her best friend’s baby name once, I refused to tell her ours—now she and my family think I’m being petty.
My sister and I are both pregnant—her second child, my first—both having boys. Three years ago, when she was pregnant with my niece, she spent months complaining she couldn’t pick a name. Then, right before giving birth, she suddenly had one. After my niece was born, it blew up: her best friend accused her of stealing the name she had chosen for her own daughter. Same first name, same middle name. My sister defended herself by saying it was “first come, first serve” and her friend had plenty of time to choose something else. With her due date a few weeks before mine this time around, I didn’t want history repeating itself. So when she started pushing for both our boy and girl name options, I refused to tell her. She insisted it was “the fun part of pregnancy,” but I wasn’t playing along.
I wouldn’t tell my sister our baby name because she stole someone else’s—now she claims I’m being unfair and dramatic.
My sister kept pushing to know our chosen name, asking in private and again in front of family. I deflected with fake names, which she saw through, and she called me out for “holding something over her” that she “never did to me.” Our brother joked that nobody should tell a “baby name thief” their choice, which only made her angrier. My mom suggested we share anyway because “everyone would know we picked it first,” but that doesn’t change the fact that my sister is due before me—and she’s already proven she’s willing to use a name someone else chose.
"Nobody should tell the baby name thief their name."
My sister insisted I was being dramatic and unfair, saying name sharing is supposed to be fun. But to me, avoiding unnecessary conflict and protecting the name my husband and I love is more important than entertaining her curiosity. Especially when she’s shown she doesn’t respect boundaries in this area.
"She told me I was holding something against her that she never did to me."
Despite her protests and our family’s pressure, I’ve held firm. She may not have stolen a name from me personally, but she’s done it before, and I’m not going to give her the chance to do it again.
🏠 The Aftermath
My sister is annoyed and offended, insisting I'm overreacting. My mom thinks sharing the name would magically prevent drama. Meanwhile, my brother openly jokes about her reputation for stealing names.
We still haven’t told anyone our chosen name, and we don’t plan to until the baby is born. My sister continues to ask, but now with an attitude because the family knows why I won’t tell her.
There’s tension, but nothing explosive—just a simmering frustration on her end and firm boundaries on mine.
"Some things are better kept secret until delivery day."
Honestly, it feels like the simplest way to avoid unnecessary drama and protect something meaningful to us.
💭 Emotional Reflection
This situation isn’t really about a name—it’s about trust. My sister broke someone else’s trust once, and I'm trying to avoid the same hurt.
Sharing names can be fun, but only when everyone respects boundaries. If someone has shown they will exploit that information, keeping it private is a reasonable choice.
Reasonable people may disagree, but protecting something meaningful during pregnancy—especially from someone with a track record—isn't malicious. It’s self-preservation.
Here’s how the community might see it:
“She stole a whole name—first and middle. You’re smart for keeping yours private.”
“Being due first matters. She already proved she’ll use whatever name she hears.”
“Boundaries aren’t punishments. You don’t owe anyone your baby name.”
Reactions weigh the past behavior, the timing of due dates, and the importance of maintaining boundaries with family members who overstep.
🌱 Final Thoughts
Some people treat baby names like a competition, but they’re deeply personal choices. Protecting yours isn’t petty—it’s practical.
We’ll announce our son’s name when he’s here, and until then, we’re keeping the peace by keeping it private.
What do you think?
Was I wrong for not trusting my sister, or was I right to hold the name until birth? Share your thoughts below 👇
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