AITA for refusing to dismantle our foster-care guest room so my in-laws could sleep on a queen mattress?

We let my husband’s brother and his wife stay with us while they were homeless—but they became furious when they discovered our guest room had twin beds meant for emergency foster placements, not a queen mattress for their comfort.

My husband and I (24) are child-free, married two years, and own a 3-bed, 2-bath home. I’m a social worker in a state with an overwhelmed foster system—so overwhelmed that kids often sleep in offices, hospitals, or on CPS floors. Short-term emergency placements are rare, especially for siblings, so I often bring kids home with me. Because of that, our guest room is set up with two twin beds, each with a pull-out trundle underneath, giving four children their own beds for the night. Earlier this year, when my husband’s brother and his wife became temporarily homeless after losing their jobs and lease, we let them stay for two months. I didn’t love the idea, but it felt like the right thing to do.

I refused to dismantle the kid-friendly setup in our guest room for my in-laws’ convenience, and they’ve been calling us assholes ever since.

Once my in-laws arrived, they immediately complained about the twin beds. Because of the bed frames and the odd shape of the room, the beds can’t be pushed together or removed to fit a queen air mattress. We have no garage, nowhere to store them, and the room is intentionally furnished to be welcoming for foster kids who need a safe place, even if only for a night. My brother-in-law and his wife wanted me to remove or store the beds anyway so they could put a queen mattress in the room. I refused—partly because it would be a pain, partly because I’d worked hard to create a comforting environment for kids, and partly because I didn’t want my in-laws to get too comfortable and treat a temporary stay like a permanent arrangement.

"If you don't like it, get a hotel."

My husband backed me completely. He told them the room was staying as-is, and if they didn’t like sleeping in twin beds, they were welcome to leave. He even said if they kept complaining, he would ask them to. They were furious and later started telling everyone we forced them to “sleep in kid beds” and were terrible hosts despite us helping them during their homelessness.

"I would rather house kids in unstable situations than my ungrateful in-laws."

Now multiple family members are calling us assholes, and my husband is snapping back, telling them not to speak to us unless they have something kind to add. We’ve both stood firm on the boundaries, but the criticism hasn’t stopped.

🏠 The Aftermath

My in-laws stayed for two months in the twin beds, but the complaints and gossip never stopped. Instead of appreciation for a place to live during homelessness, they focused on the inconvenience.

Now extended family members are chiming in, insisting we were bad hosts—despite the fact that we opened our home when they had nowhere else to go.

Meanwhile, our guest room remains ready for emergency foster placements, which is exactly what it was designed for, and my husband has gone full protective mode, shutting down criticism from his family.

"They acted like comfort was owed, not gifted."

It’s disappointing to feel taken for granted, but at least we’re united in keeping our home purpose-driven and our boundaries respected.

💭 Emotional Reflection

This situation wasn’t about beds—it was about boundaries. I created that room to keep vulnerable kids safe and comfortable when the system fails them. That mission doesn’t pause because adults want a more luxurious setup.

My in-laws were going through a hard time, yes, but gratitude and respect go a long way. Demanding we dismantle a carefully prepared space, especially for a temporary stay, crossed a line.

Ultimately, it comes down to balancing compassion with practicality: caring for kids in crisis while also helping family—but not at the cost of being walked over.

Here’s how the community might see it:

“They were homeless and still complaining about free lodging? You were more than generous.”

“That room has a purpose. Foster kids need safe beds way more than adults need a queen air mattress.”

“Your husband backing you 100% says everything. His family is out of line.”

Reactions highlight gratitude, priorities, and the entitlement shown by houseguests who forgot they were being helped, not hosted.

🌱 Final Thoughts

Opening your home during someone else’s crisis is an act of generosity, not an obligation. It’s okay to keep boundaries intact—especially when those boundaries protect kids who have nowhere else to go.

Your in-laws may never appreciate the balance you tried to strike, but your intentions and actions speak for themselves.

What do you think?
Were we wrong to prioritize foster kids’ needs over adult comfort? Share your thoughts below 👇