AITA for cutting ties with my abusive parents and secretly moving away with my daughter?
After years of trauma from an assault and neglect, an 18-year-old mother took her nearly 5-year-old daughter and left her parents' home without warning. Now she's wondering if disappearing like that was too harsh.
I’m an 18-year-old mom who escaped an abusive and neglectful household with my almost 5-year-old daughter by moving five hours away without telling my parents—after years of trauma, lies, and feeling unsupported, I finally chose safety and a fresh start.
When I was 12, I was sexually assaulted by a family member and got pregnant. My parents, who are pro-life, forced me to keep the baby despite the risks to my health. I gave birth at 13 and had a hysterectomy after a hemorrhage. The trauma from the assault and forced pregnancy has left me with years of bitterness and isolation. My parents lied about how my daughter was conceived, causing bullying and rumors in my community, while the biological father faced no consequences and his family moved away.
"They decided to lie to neighbors and friends, saying I was sleeping around."
Over time, my parents assumed the caregiver role while ignoring me emotionally. Therapy helped me shift my anger from my daughter to my parents, who knowingly risked my life. I didn’t want my daughter to grow up with the same trauma or lose my role as her mother, so when I turned 18, I reached out to my aunt, estranged from my parents, who offered a safe place for us to live.
"One night, while my parents were asleep, I packed and left with my daughter to live with my aunt."
Now, we’re establishing a new life far away. My daughter misses my parents sometimes but is adjusting well and loves my aunt’s dogs. My aunt is also supporting me financially, including funding college. However, a friend told me disappearing like this could cause my parents extreme distress, leaving me feeling guilty and paranoid about what might happen or if they’ll try to find us.
🏠 The Aftermath
Currently, I’m living with my aunt and daughter, building a safer, healthier environment. My daughter is enrolled in kindergarten, and pickups are handled only by me and my aunt. The bond between us grows stronger every day.
The fallout includes severed ties with my parents, who remain unaware of our whereabouts. While I fear their reactions, I feel it was necessary to protect my daughter and myself from further harm.
Meanwhile, I’m working on myself with my aunt’s help and preparing to start college after a gap year to adjust fully. The past still haunts me, but I see hope in this new chapter.
"I didn’t want my daughter to have generational trauma or lose our motherhood to abusive parents."
Though complicated and painful, I believe leaving was the right choice for our
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