AITA for filing an insurance claim after my neighbor hit my car and refused to take responsibility?

My neighbor hit my parked car, then insisted it was basically my fault for where I parked. When she refused to file an insurance claim, I did it myself—and now she says I’m “not being neighborly.”

A few days ago, my neighbor—someone I barely know—knocked on my door to tell me she had just hit my car. I went outside and saw the damage wasn’t catastrophic, but it was definitely enough to require repairs. Aside from one quick apology, she immediately shifted to talking about how my car was parked across from her driveway. My little brother, who just learned to drive, had parked it there. I usually avoid that spot because I know it can be inconvenient for her when backing out, but it’s still easy not to hit a legally parked car. From the way she kept bringing it up, I could tell she was fishing for me to admit some kind of fault.

I’m the neighbor whose car got hit, and instead of taking responsibility, she lectured me about HOA rules. When she refused insurance and blamed my parking, I filed the claim myself—and she says that makes me a bad neighbor.

As we talked, she kept repeating that my parking was an HOA violation. I asked her to file a claim, as the driver at fault normally does, but she flat-out refused. I might have worked with her directly, but every time she spoke, she blamed the accident on where my car was parked. She even said she would only pay if I went to three separate places for quotes and let her come along before she’d consider reimbursing me, which felt like stalling tactics.

"We both know this wouldn’t have happened if you weren’t parked there."

Eventually I realized she wasn’t going to make this easy—or maybe wouldn’t pay at all. So I filed a claim myself through her insurance. When I told her, she blew up. Suddenly I was “messed up,” “not neighborly,” and apparently insulting her honor by assuming she wouldn’t pay, despite her own behavior saying otherwise. Her texts since then have been long, demeaning, and very dramatic.

"You think I wouldn’t pay? Wow. That’s really messed up."

Now I’m just hoping her insurance doesn’t reject the claim. I really don’t want to go through my own insurer and risk a rate increase. What should have been a normal, adult resolution somehow turned into a bizarre blame game over parking spots and HOA rules.

🏠 The Aftermath

After filing the claim, things quickly soured. My neighbor insists I betrayed her by involving insurance, even though she refused to do it herself.

She keeps insisting that the “real issue” was my parking spot, not that she hit a stationary car. Meanwhile, I’m waiting to see whether her insurance accepts the claim or pushes it back on me.

What could’ve been a straightforward repair turned into tension, long texts, and a neighbor determined to shift blame onto HOA rules instead of her own driving mistake.

"Somehow the parked car became the problem—not the person who hit it."

I’m just grateful I asked for her insurance information immediately, because without it, I’d probably still be arguing with her about estimates and imaginary HOA violations.

💭 Emotional Reflection

This situation wasn’t really about parking—it was about responsibility. I was open to handling it directly, but every conversation felt like she was trying to flip the blame onto me instead of making things right.

Maybe filing the claim felt abrupt to her, but her insistence on avoiding insurance, bringing up HOA rules, and setting conditions made it impossible to trust she’d follow through.

Some people may think I should have given her more time; others will say she gave every sign she’d drag this out forever. The line between being neighborly and being taken advantage of can get blurry fast.

Here’s how the community might see it:

“She hit a parked car. Filing a claim is normal. Her blame-shifting is the real red flag.”

“‘You wouldn’t have been hit if you weren’t parked there’ is classic deflection.”

“You tried. She made it clear she wasn’t going to handle this fairly.”

Reactions generally center on accountability, the importance of insurance, and the neighbor’s attempts to twist the situation into something it wasn’t.

🌱 Final Thoughts

A simple fender-bender spiraled because responsibility got tangled with HOA talk and misplaced blame. Filing the claim was the only way to ensure the repair actually got handled.

Some will say I acted too quickly, others will say she never intended to pay in the first place. Either way, the situation shows how fragile “neighborliness” can be when money and blame collide.

What do you think?
Was filing the claim the right move, or should I have kept trying to handle it privately? Share your thoughts below 👇