AITA for refusing to blame my dad for not taking responsibility for my half siblings?

My dad never wanted contact with my half siblings, and my mom’s family says he’s cruel for refusing to help them. I told them I don’t care—and now they say I’m “broken” for siding with him. AITA?

I’m 18 now, but my entire childhood was shaped by my parents’ breakup—caused because my mom cheated on my dad when I was a toddler and got pregnant by the man she’s now married to. My parents were never married, but custody was messy. They ended up with shared custody and I switched houses every seven days. My dad has hated my mom and her husband ever since, and while he has always taken care of me, he never wanted anything to do with my half siblings. I never blamed him for that. My mom, her husband, and several aunts and uncles always insisted he was cruel for refusing to help or involve himself with children who weren’t his.

I’m the kid who refused to hate my dad for not stepping up for children he never agreed to raise — and my mom’s family thinks I’m heartless because of it.

Stuff happened over the years that my mom’s side still holds against my dad. When I was 8, my half brother (5) wasn’t picked up from school because the friend who was supposed to pick him up forgot, and my mom and her husband had their phones off at a funeral. Dad picked me up, but he didn’t take my half brother with us. He didn’t know what was going on and left him with the school since nobody had contacted him about the child. They treated it like he abandoned him. Another time, when I was in the hospital, Dad bought me food and drinks but not my half siblings. Mom was furious even though Dad wasn’t their parent. Same thing with birthdays — Dad threw great parties for me, but neither of us wanted my half siblings invited, and he never pushed.

"He didn't give a crap if my half siblings had nothing because they weren't his kids."

When Mom and her husband hit hard times, she asked Dad for extra help — specifically for my half siblings. Dad refused. He kept paying for my summer camp and activities because I’m his kid, but he wasn’t going to provide for her other children. That was apparently unforgivable. Then a few years ago, my mom and her husband were in an accident. A friend was with us but had to leave, so Dad picked me up and left my half siblings there. Mom’s family blew up my phone saying Dad should have taken “all of us,” but he didn’t. And when I told them I didn’t care, they acted like I was some kind of monster.

"They weren't going to turn me against my dad. He only has me, and he always took care of me."

When I finally told my mom, aunts, and uncles that I didn’t care and wouldn’t blame my dad for not stepping up for kids he had no responsibility for, they acted like I told them I wished my half siblings dead. I moved in with my dad even before turning 18. Since then, my mom’s family has been texting and messaging me saying I need to “fix myself” and stop siding with someone who would “let children rot.” But to me, my dad treated my half siblings the same way he’d treat any random kids — not cruel, just not responsible for them.

🏠 The Aftermath

My relationship with my mom’s side is now nonexistent. They think I’ve “aligned with cruelty,” while I feel I’ve simply accepted reality: my dad was responsible for me, not my half siblings. I moved out, settled with my dad, and cut off the drama.

Meanwhile, my dad’s stance hasn’t changed — he did right by me and kept his boundaries with kids who weren’t his. My mom’s family continues to contact me, trying to shame me into agreeing that my dad owed my half siblings support.

The core consequence: a clean break from one side of the family, replaced by stability with the parent who consistently showed up for me.

"He wasn't their dad. Expecting him to step in was never fair — and I refused to demonize him for it."

And despite their pressure, I’m relieved. The conflict was exhausting, and the peace of choosing the home that treated me right feels worth the fallout.

💭 Emotional Reflection

At the heart of this conflict is a fundamental disagreement about responsibility. Your mom’s family expects your dad to have taken on a paternal role for children created by an affair that broke his relationship. That’s a massive emotional leap — one he never agreed to.

Your stance isn’t about lacking empathy; it’s about recognizing boundaries. You saw firsthand that your dad cared for you consistently, and you were never responsible for mediating the consequences of adults’ choices.

In blended families, some adults believe everyone should “step up,” even if the situation was born from betrayal. Others believe responsibility ends where biology and consent end. Neither view is inherently malicious — but forcing one onto someone else creates conflict, and you simply refused to adopt their narrative.

Here’s how the community might see it:

“Your dad isn’t obligated to raise the children who came from your mom’s affair. Holding him responsible is unfair.”

“Your mom’s family is projecting guilt. They want your dad to save the situation they created.”

“You’re not wrong for refusing to turn on the parent who consistently cared for you.”

People tend to side with the parent who showed up, not the one who expects support for choices someone else didn’t make.

🌱 Final Thoughts

You’re not responsible for managing the fallout of an affair or the expectations your mom’s family put on your dad. You’re responsible for your own well-being — and it sounds like you chose the safe and steady parent.

You held a boundary they didn’t want you to have. Sometimes that’s all it takes for people to label you “wrong,” even when you’re simply refusing to rewrite history to absolve them.

What do you think?
Is it reasonable to expect someone to help raise kids who only exist because of betrayal? Share your thoughts below 👇