AITA for feeling abandoned during my first trip to meet my online girlfriend with severe anxiety?
After months of online connection, I flew from the US to Canada to meet the girl I’d been seeing. But her debilitating anxiety left me mostly alone in a hotel room, missing the quality time I’d hoped for.
I’m a 29-year-old guy who flew to Canada to meet my online girlfriend after months of chatting. I was excited and hopeful, but her severe anxiety meant she struggled just to meet me, and most of the trip I ended up isolated in my hotel room. I’m left feeling hurt, confused, and wondering if this relationship can last.
We met through online circles and bonded over shared interests and ambition. Last year, she admitted feelings, and conversations intensified until she was telling family she had a boyfriend. I planned a Christmas trip to finally meet her in person, a costly but meaningful gesture for me.
When I arrived, she was overwhelmed by anxiety, needing hours to get from her place to my hotel. Meeting her was emotional; she was visibly shaken but happy. She lives with her brother, who I met too. Despite attempts, anxiety kept her from driving or engaging much, and I often found myself alone, navigating an unfamiliar city.
"She was shaking and bawling her eyes out, but overall it was great."
The next day started early for me, but she wasn’t ready to meet up until much later, still anxious. When we finally connected, she was drained and struggled to spend sustained quality time. At a friend’s party, she was happy introducing me as her boyfriend, but barely interacted with me. On the drive back, she asked to drop me at the hotel early since she was too exhausted to hang out longer.
Alone in the hotel, I felt confused and unsure. I messaged her honestly about wanting more time together, and she apologized, explaining her anxiety was still intense. She assured me she was interested, but the nerves made intimacy and closeness difficult.
"I’m confused and a little heartbroken. I feel like I’ve met everyone here except my girlfriend."
With just one day left before my flight home, I’m questioning whether this relationship can survive. I hoped for shared memories and moments; instead, I mostly experienced isolation despite being so close to her.
🏠 The Aftermath
At this point, I’m still here alone in the hotel, waiting to see if the last day improves. She remains apologetic but clearly overwhelmed. Meeting her family and friends gave glimpses of connection, but the anxiety barrier looms large.
Emotional distance and unmet expectations have created a growing disconnect. I’m unsure if my feelings can sustain or if this trip has revealed fundamental incompatibilities.
The trip, intended as a milestone, has instead spotlighted how mental health challenges deeply
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