AITA for leaving my older boyfriend after realizing he treated me like a built-in nanny?

After months of being overwhelmed with childcare, bills, and school, I finally left my boyfriend—and now he’s blaming me for everything, even his choices after the breakup.

Back in September, I posted asking if I was wrong for wanting to leave my boyfriend of six months. I’m 23, he’s 32, and he had two kids. Between full-time work and college classes, I was stretched thin—and yet the relationship quickly turned into me caring for his kids, his home, and him. Commenters pointed out that I’d essentially become a “bang nanny,” and that wake-up call pushed me to reevaluate everything. On October 1st, I moved out and returned to my grandmother’s house, finally giving myself a chance to breathe again.

I left a man who treated me like a caregiver instead of a partner, moved back home, and rebuilt my peace—only for him to guilt-trip me with dramatic declarations and blame me for his own choices.

Once I left, things immediately improved: less stress, no more juggling his rent and groceries, and no more coming home to responsibilities that were never mine in the first place. He didn’t handle it well, though. For weeks he called and texted, telling me he loved me, that he’d never find another woman like me, that I was his soulmate. I stayed firm. Things turned manipulative when he messaged to say he slept with an older ex-fling “known for sleeping with anyone who looks at her,” and that he felt disgusting afterward—apparently because I “hurt him so much” that he just had to.

"Life has gotten so much easier—I'm not constantly stressed or paying his bills anymore."

His attempt to guilt-trip me only confirmed how right I was to leave. Instead of accountability, he shifted the blame onto me for choices he made as a grown man. It was the final sign that the relationship had been draining me emotionally, financially, and mentally, and that choosing myself was the healthiest thing I could have done.

"He told me he slept with someone else and that it was basically my fault."

Looking back, I see how quickly the dynamic shifted from romance to responsibility. Leaving felt scary, but staying would have meant giving up my education, my time, and my sanity. Now I’m rebuilding my routines and focusing on myself without carrying the weight of someone else’s life on my shoulders.

🏠 The Aftermath

Since October 1st, I’ve been living at my grandma’s house and getting my stability back. The stress I felt while living with him is gone, and I no longer have to act as a full-time caretaker for someone else’s kids while juggling work and college.

He tried repeatedly to get me back with dramatic declarations of love, then pivoted to guilt once I refused. His confession about sleeping with an ex was clearly meant to hurt me or pull me back into the chaos—but it only made me more certain of my choice.

Now the consequences are clear: I’ve regained peace and independence, while he’s left trying to blame me for decisions he made after the breakup.

"Leaving wasn't easy, but staying would have cost me far more."

I’m relieved to be focusing on myself again, even if the end of the relationship came with manipulative parting shots. It’s a strange mix of freedom and frustration—but mostly freedom.

💭 Emotional Reflection

This situation wasn’t about immaturity or confusion—it was about imbalance. One partner leaned entirely on the other, and the weight fell on someone young, busy, and already stretched thin.

Leaving wasn’t selfish; it was necessary. And while his guilt-driven messages were meant to make me question myself, they only highlighted how one-sided the relationship had been. Ultimately, both people deserve relationships where responsibilities are shared and emotional honesty is real.

Not every breakup has a villain—sometimes it’s just an overdue realization that expectations, effort, and emotional labor weren’t equal from the start.

Here’s how the community might see it:

“You didn’t leave a partner—you left a man who wanted a mother for his kids and a maid for himself.”

“The guilt text about sleeping with someone else was manipulation 101. Good for you for standing firm.”

“Moving out saved your future. Imagine trying to finish college while raising someone else’s kids for free.”

Reactions would likely center around relief, validation, and recognizing the unhealthy dynamic you escaped from.

🌱 Final Thoughts

Leaving someone you love—or thought you loved—takes strength, especially when the relationship demanded more from you than it ever gave back.

Choosing yourself isn’t selfish. It’s survival. And sometimes the clearest sign you made the right decision is how quickly peace returns once you walk away.

What do you think?
Would you have left sooner, or tried to hold on a bit longer? Share your thoughts below 👇