AITA for banning my husband from unsupervised grocery shopping after his gut health experiment went horribly wrong?
When my husband decided to “clean up his gut,” it turned into a chaotic mix of boiled veggies, bizarre foods, and digestive disasters that left me banning him from unsupervised grocery runs.
I thought my husband’s gut health quest was just a phase, but his experimental eating and digestive chaos turned our home into a no-dairy, no-unsupervised-food zone—because the mess and smells were unbearable.
My husband (40M) decided to “clean up his gut,” shifting abruptly from quirky food experiments (like deep-fried Pop-Tarts) to a strict diet of boiled veggies, brown rice, and tofu that felt like eating a wet band-aid. He even added chia smoothies, because why not overload a body already struggling?
"He turned to Google searches about gut health, and things quickly went sideways."
By the third night, he described his insides as “gentrifying,” followed by a prolonged, orchestral-level fart that set off the carbon monoxide detector. Even the dog fled. The next day he acted like he had a twisted colon, so we visited a gastroenterologist who confirmed IBS, lactose intolerance, and mild food sensitivities.
"Instead of moderating, he ate a massive amount of 'safe' foods like hummus, watermelon, and Brussels sprouts all at once."
His digestive episodes became so intense that I had to Google how to safely open windows during storms just to survive. The worst came with "The Great Yogurt Incident" when he ignored dairy restrictions, claiming probiotics cancel dairy’s effects, which is not how science works.
🏠 The Aftermath
Since then, he’s been grounded from grocery shopping alone, all dairy was removed from the house, and he is only allowed tofu if supervised.
The dog refuses to sleep in our room, traumatized by what I call the “cheddar hurricane.” We’re still navigating the fallout of his dramatic dietary experiments with laughter, patience, and a strong air freshener.
Our marriage remains strong, but his gut health antics have taught us both about limits, science, and the importance of moderation.
"He looked me in the eyes and said, ‘The probiotics cancel the dairy.’ That’s not how science works."
It’s funny, chaotic, and occasionally smelly, but we’re figuring it out—one questionable food at a time.
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