AITA for staying with my husband after he confessed he slept with someone just before we found out I was pregnant?

I (32F) am eight weeks pregnant and my husband (41M) recently confessed he slept with someone a few days before we knew about the pregnancy. I’m devastated, confused, and torn between cultural expectations to tolerate and my own need to protect myself and our baby.

I’m 32F, married to a 41-year-old American; we’d known each other for about three years and married last year. We’ve always had a respectful relationship — quiet, kind, and steady — and recently we learned I’m eight weeks pregnant. In the weeks before we knew about the pregnancy I was emotionally withdrawn because of a high-pressure job and layoffs at work; my husband said he supported whatever I decided and encouraged me to slow down, but I kept working because it felt tied to my identity. Intimacy had been less frequent because I was exhausted, but he never complained.

He told me he slept with someone a few days ago, before we knew about the pregnancy. He offered no excuse, said he would accept whatever I decide, and I slapped him out of grief — now we’re both numb and I don’t know whether to stay, leave, or how to protect myself and the baby.

A few days ago he admitted to sleeping with someone once. It happened before we knew I was pregnant. He didn’t try to justify it — he told me he would accept whatever decision I made. I slapped him in the moment out of shock and grief; afterwards I felt guilty but also numb. He seems shattered as well; he hasn’t had much to say and is mostly coexisting in the same space with me. I’m overwhelmed by a mix of betrayal, fear for our future, and concern for the baby.

"He confessed he slept with someone a few days before we found out I was pregnant."

My cultural background matters here: I’m Indian and raised with traditions that often expect women to tolerate marital problems. Part of me feels pressured to forgive and preserve the family unit; the other part of me is terrified. He seems to be suffering too, and the idea of him not being there scares me more than the betrayal does. I’m stuck between the fear of losing him and the knowledge that this is a serious breach of trust.

"I slapped him out of grief and now we’re both numb and barely speaking."

I love him and I don’t know how to unlove him after this. I don’t know whether to leave, stay, seek counseling, or focus on the pregnancy. The situation has left me emotionally raw and unsure how to prioritize my wellbeing and the baby’s, while also considering family expectations and my own values.

🏠 The Aftermath

Immediately after the confession there was a violent emotional reaction (I slapped him) and then silence: he’s present but withdrawn, and I’m numb. We haven’t had a real conversation about boundaries, accountability, or whether reconciliation is possible. The pregnancy adds urgency and complexity to any decision.

For him: visible remorse and shock, withdrawn behavior, and limited communication. For me: betrayal, fear, guilt over my reaction, and worry about raising a child in a home where trust feels broken. For the relationship: a major fracture that will require serious work — or a separation — and a need to consider legal, emotional, and health implications given the pregnancy.

Concrete consequences include immediate emotional instability, the need for medical and emotional support during pregnancy, and a potentially permanent shift in the marriage depending on how both of us choose to proceed.

"The confession shattered me — and now I’m trying to decide what’s best for me and our baby."

Right now there’s a fragile coexistence. Whether that becomes a path to repair (with therapy, transparency, and time) or leads to separation depends on honest conversations, clear accountability, and both our willingness to do the hard work.

💭 Emotional Reflection

This is a deep betrayal layered on top of an already stressful season. Feeling devastated, angry, and confused is entirely reasonable. The slap was an intense, immediate reaction to profound hurt — not ideal, but human — and now you’re left to navigate next steps while pregnant and culturally pressured to tolerate. The central questions are safety, accountability, and whether real repair is possible.

Practical next steps to consider: ensure your physical and emotional safety and get medical confirmation of the pregnancy status and any necessary care. Seek support — a trusted friend, family member, or professional — and consider individual therapy to process trauma. If you and he want to try repairing the marriage, couples therapy with a clear plan for transparency, testing (if relevant), and boundaries is essential. If he refuses accountability or you feel unsafe, prioritise your wellbeing and the baby’s.

There’s no single “right” answer here — cultural expectations and personal values both matter — but your needs and your child’s health have to come first. Honest communication, external support, and professional guidance will give you the best chance to make a decision you can live with.

Here’s how the community might see it:

“You’re allowed to be devastated — this is a huge breach of trust, especially with a pregnancy involved.”

“Get support and counselling. Don’t decide anything big until you’ve had medical checks and emotional support.”

“Forgiveness is a process — only consider reconciliation if he accepts full accountability and you both commit to serious, professional help.”

Reactions will vary — some will urge protection and distance, others will advocate for guided rebuilding — but most will agree you deserve support, clarity, and safety first.

🌱 Final Thoughts

You’re at a crossroads between cultural expectations and your personal wellbeing. This is a profoundly difficult position: a pregnancy adds stakes, and betrayal complicates trust. Prioritise medical care and emotional support now, and avoid making irreversible decisions without guidance.

Ask for accountability and a clear plan if you choose to explore repair — transparency, therapy, and time are non-negotiable. If you choose to separate, make safety and stability for you and your baby the priority. Either path is valid — what matters is that it protects your health and future.

What do you think?
Would you try to rebuild with strict boundaries and professional help, or step away to protect yourself and the pregnancy? Share your thoughts below 👇